Critics claim Ezzo's presentation in Babywise and Growing Kids God's Way and other material is manipulative and that it can cause divisions in churches, friendships and families.

• False picture of choices. Ezzo writes as though parents have only two choices: his approach, which produces ease for the parents and obedient, respectful children, or the alternative approach, which creates family "chaos" and disobedient, ungodly offspring. This is driven home with descriptions of fictional children raised by the two different methods; after all who would want the hassle and naughty child of the non-Ezzo alternative? Evidence is missing to prove either illustration, and critics claim that the truth is misrepresented both in Ezzo's made-up "straw man" and in the way he incorrectly describes their views.
  
  
• Insults parents who hold other views. Ezzo teaches a host of insulting things about parents he disagrees with. A sampling of insulting beliefs Ezzo passes on to his followers about parents who don't follow his teaching: they are "in their thinking, [only] Christian up to a point," they are naive, they frequently fail to notice when their babies are sick, they respond to their babies' cries without rational consideration of why the baby is crying, their children never learn to accept delayed gratification and eventually shoplift, push other children off swings, and their children are academically disadvantaged.
  
  
• Insults health care professionals. The book says that health care providers who don't support Babywise are not up-to-date enough to grasp Babywise's breastfeeding benefits, or are biased because of their professional training (2001, p. 100).
  
  
• Rhetoric that plays on fear, shame and guilt. The material often seeks to persuade the reader not by providing reason, facts, and logic, but by playing on their fears of sleepless nights and unmanageable children, shaming them for not seeking "God's way," and creating guilt when they face challenges most parents recognize as normal stages of child development and parenting. As parents absorb and then reflect these messages to their friends and church community, it alienates them.
  
  
• Double messages and shifting definitions from page to page not only make for confusion over basic principles and how they are meant to be implemented but also make it possible to refute any criticism simply by quoting whichever side of the double message will serve the purpose. Communication that might resolve the division seems frequently to come to a stand-off. For example, instructions to "feed a hungry baby" and be "flexible" are often cited in response to concerns about the preferred feeding schedule. But other passages indicate that a baby who is behaving properly will not be hungry sooner than the approved intervals, and that flexibility can easily be overdone and always involves returning to the schedule as soon as possible.
  
  
• An us/them world. The authors portray an us/them world where followers who are part of the GFI "community" are believed to be persecuted and misunderstood by those outside the "community". The explanation is given that the GFI parents' standards are higher and more biblical than that of those outside the community, making the GFI parents a target.
  
  
• Questioning the information is not encouraged. To disagree or even to openly question Ezzo's material arouses suspicion that one is disloyal and not really committed to "God's way" of parenting. Class leaders are encouraged not to allow open disagreement during classtime. This often leaves participants who have questions isolated and prevents their peers from hearing any concerns about the material.

The end result is often parents who are committed to the material as the only right way to parent without correctly understanding other views and parenting techniques practiced within the Christian community. This, in turn, leads to division as the wisdom of grandparents and other experienced parents is ignored and sometimes even shunned, and as fellow Christians are treated as less godly because of parenting differences.

Essential Reading:

"Growing Kids God's Way?: A Critique of Growing Families International"
by Dr. Barbara Francis

"More Than A Parenting Ministry" | PDF version
by Kathleen Terner and Elliott Miller, Christian Research Journal, Christian Research Institute

On Becoming Childwise: A Critique
by Laurie Moody

Conflicting Messages--A Review of Babywise 2001
by Kathy Thile

It's One or the Other--And Other Myths that Hooked Us
A Parent's Insights

For Further Information:

More Critiques, Reviews and Analyses