Tuesday, May 21, 2013

Voices of Experience - Parents Who Used Babywise and GKGW

An Ex-Contact Mom Speaks Out

While I was a contact mom for GFI (for a year and a half), I never once met a mom who breastfed long-term (at least a year or longer) without modifying the materials. I did see babies who appeared listless and in a depressed state, who were smaller than average or scrawny. I met scores of moms who struggled with milk supply to a point that it completely removed the enjoyment of nursing their babies. I met babies who went one or two months without gaining any weight at all or who lost weight. I met moms who grieved when they realized that they had been systematically, albeit unintentionally, depriving their babies of food.

Even in the newest version of Babywise (2001) the messages are still there, scattered throughout the book, that minimum time frames must be met or babies will not sleep as they should and won't have the ability to delay gratification later. There is a subtle fear-mongering underneath the message of the book that if the routine in the book is not followed parents will not be "successful" with the program.

Many times while I was a contact mom, I heard the party line from GFI: If parents have problems (babies don't sleep well, gain weight appropriately, moms lose milk, babies cry too much, etc.) then it is either that they followed the materials too strictly or not closely enough. It is a catch-22 and either way GFI is never wrong in their own eyes.

I'm a really practical person who thrives with a routine and I did (while respecting my babies' needs) help my babies settle into one. I can completely understand a woman's desire for predictability in her day. It's comforting to realize that most babies tend to settle into a routine of some sort without the parents controlling it. I homeschool my three older kids (baby makes four), tutor at home 2 days (5 hours each), and have a wide variety of church and community volunteer responsibilities!

But even if Babywise and Prep may have a few helpful ideas, there is more chaff than wheat. As someone else has said, "What is good is not unique--you can find it in other safer books. What is unique is not good." In spite of the few helpful ideas I NEVER recommend the books to anyone. Why? Too much possibility that someone could be seriously hurt from them. I don't want that responsibility.

by Laurie Moody, Certified Lactation Counselor
submitted March 2003

  • Health Care Professionals on Babywise +

    Rosemary Shy, MD , FAAP
    Director, Children's Choice of Michigan Ambulatory Pediatrics
    Assistant Professor of Pediatrics, Wayne State University, Children's Hospital of Michigan, Detroit, Mich

    "It is dangerous to do it the way he describes," Pediatrician Dr. Rosemary Shy says of Ezzo's technique. "It puts these babies at risk for jaundice, at risk for dehydration, and at risk for failing to thrive, all of which we’ve seen."

    Wilson, Steve, "Baby Care Controversy," WXYZ-Detroit, November 14, 2004

    Arnold Tanis, MD, FAAP
    1999 recipient, John H. Whitcomb Outstanding Pediatrician Award, presented by the

    … Read More

  • Ezzo.info Notes With Sorrow... +

    Ezzo.info notes with sorrow the passing of Michael Mahurin, aka "Metochoi," a pastor who became concerned about the Ezzos' teachings on parenting when he encountered parents, even in his own flock, who believed that following the Ezzos' teachings was the only faithful approach to Christian parenting. Pastor Mike responded by vigorously teaching biblical hermeneutics, logic, and core Christian doctrines like grace and law, both in his congregation and in online discussions. A gifted teacher with an irrepressible sense of humor, Metochoi equipped many Christian parents to use basic biblical hermeneutics

    … Read More

  • An Open Letter about the EzzoTruth Site +

    Summary of This Open Letter

    A site called Ezzotruth.com portrays authors Gary and Anne Marie Ezzo as victims of attacks on their parenting programs and personal character by unprincipled people. Because many of the accusations at the site have been discussed in the past, Ezzo.info simply suggests two things to consider: whether the Ezzos’ claims of victimhood at the hands of numerous reputable Christian leaders are believable and whether the results in the Ezzos’ own family support their teaching. The debate is wearying, but it is crucial to the Christian

    … Read More
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