Learning to Trust my Instincts

I'm a mom of 5, including a pair of twins. We took the Prep for Parenting class while pregnant with my oldest. I knew absolutely nothing about kids or babies, so I believed everything they told me--except I had a nagging uneasiness in the back of my mind because I felt they misused the Bible.

I did not enjoy my first daughter's babyhood. I was miserable when she was crying alone in her room, yet felt that she would be 'spoiled' if I went in to her, and she would never learn to go to sleep on her own. My motherly instincts (which the Ezzos said I didn't have) tried to tell me what to do, but I wouldn't listen.

Well, with #2, I didn't try to follow the schedule so much--I was so tired I would actually fall asleep nursing, and wake up later with baby sleeping peacefully at my side (horror of horrors!) I felt so guilty at first, but that faded away.

With #3, Ezzo was completely out and baby slept with me till she was over a year old!

#4 and 5 are twins who I exclusively nursed--no bottles--and there's no way that could have been done on an Ezzo type schedule.

The irony is all of my kids go to sleep easily EXCEPT for child #1 who always slept in her own crib and cried to sleep every night and naptime. She is currently 8 years old, often has bags under her eyes, and often comes out at 11, 12, 1am or later, saying she can't sleep and is feeling lonely! I wish that I had trusted my non-existent maternal instincts and never listened to Mr. Ezzo!

Here's a precious moment that would never happen to an Ezzo mom: I was nursing the twins to sleep when they were around 10 months old. One fell asleep, and I eased her off my lap onto the bed. The other finished but wasn't sleepy yet, so she rolled over an gave me a cute, happy grin, and grabbed my finger. We played coo, and giggle, and peekaboo for 3 or 4 minutes; then she yawned, snuggled up against me and fell asleep--secure, happy, and feeling loved. I don't want bedtime to be a time of tears and loneliness in my family.

by S. J.
submitted 2/12/04