Thursday, May 23, 2013

Growing Kids God's Way? A Psychologist's Critique

Pastoral Concerns about the use of Ezzo Parenting Materials

Pastors and church members have reported dynamics that have been unhealthy or divisive within congregations where materials from GFI have been used. One pastor observed that in his church, the programs bred dependency, "It was now "What does Gary say?" about all child-rearing stuff." Another pastor agreed, "When I unleashed GKGW on our church in Florida, we got our own set of "zombies" as well." Numerous prominent Christian leaders have voiced concerns.

Another common complaint is that Ezzo's fervent presentation blurs the line between what is optional and what is biblically commanded. When missionaries take the teachings abroad with the intention of imparting parenting skills along with Christianity, they may confuse, offend or alienate the very people they hope to introduce to Christianity. The material makes Western ethnocentric assumptions, from general concepts about relationships and time management to particulars about cribs and playpens.

Parents who decide the classes aren't a good fit or find themselves in disagreement are sometimes viewed negatively. The material itself contains negative cues about how to view families who are not following Ezzo's ideas, for example suggesting they are less committed to glorifying God in their family life or that their children's behavior will not win neighbors to Christ.

Philip Johnson, who was an elder at Grace Community Church in Sun Valley, California when Ezzo was on staff summarizes,

"On this [divisiveness] and other, even more serious matters of personal integrity, Gary has been confronted repeatedly by people to whom he should be accountable, and his consistent response has been to move out from under the accountability of anyone who challenges him—then treat all his critics as enemies. This is a long-standing pattern which in my view disqualifies him from the kind of public ministry he is doing."

Questions of authenticity arise since the Ezzos have portrayed friendship with one's adult children as the goal and result of following their methods, but their own adult children cut off contact with them several years ago.

Other concerns that surround parenting programs from Growing Families International are catalogued elsewhere on this site: substandard medical information in the baby materials, ignorance of basic child development issues throughout all the baby and child materials, a manipulative and divisive style of teaching, biblical & theological concerns, and character concerns about the authors.

There are many other parenting books and programs available to churches which don't come front-loaded with such controversy and problems.

For Further Reading:

One Church's Review Process
a church reevaluated sponsering GFI classes

Christian Leaders and Organizations
that have voiced concerns

Growing Kids the Ezzo Way
Dr. Philip Ryken, 10th Presbyterian Church, cautions his congregation

Another Church's Elder Statement on GFI
Berean Calvary Chapel's statement

An Open Letter to Pastors
Frank York, past editorial director at GFI, presents concerns to pastors

Information about Growing Kids God's Way Movement
Northwest Bible Church of OKC publishes a concise summary of concerns

Focus on the Family Statement

Growing Kids God's Way -- Not Ezzo's
Thoughtful commentary from a Baptist pastor

Dr. John MacArthur's Statement on Ezzo and Grace Community Church

Living Hope Evangelical Fellowship Statement of Excommunication

  • Health Care Professionals on Babywise +

    Rosemary Shy, MD , FAAP
    Director, Children's Choice of Michigan Ambulatory Pediatrics
    Assistant Professor of Pediatrics, Wayne State University, Children's Hospital of Michigan, Detroit, Mich

    "It is dangerous to do it the way he describes," Pediatrician Dr. Rosemary Shy says of Ezzo's technique. "It puts these babies at risk for jaundice, at risk for dehydration, and at risk for failing to thrive, all of which we’ve seen."

    Wilson, Steve, "Baby Care Controversy," WXYZ-Detroit, November 14, 2004

    Arnold Tanis, MD, FAAP
    1999 recipient, John H. Whitcomb Outstanding Pediatrician Award, presented by the

    … Read More

  • Ezzo.info Notes With Sorrow... +

    Ezzo.info notes with sorrow the passing of Michael Mahurin, aka "Metochoi," a pastor who became concerned about the Ezzos' teachings on parenting when he encountered parents, even in his own flock, who believed that following the Ezzos' teachings was the only faithful approach to Christian parenting. Pastor Mike responded by vigorously teaching biblical hermeneutics, logic, and core Christian doctrines like grace and law, both in his congregation and in online discussions. A gifted teacher with an irrepressible sense of humor, Metochoi equipped many Christian parents to use basic biblical hermeneutics

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  • An Open Letter about the EzzoTruth Site +

    Summary of This Open Letter

    A site called Ezzotruth.com portrays authors Gary and Anne Marie Ezzo as victims of attacks on their parenting programs and personal character by unprincipled people. Because many of the accusations at the site have been discussed in the past, Ezzo.info simply suggests two things to consider: whether the Ezzos’ claims of victimhood at the hands of numerous reputable Christian leaders are believable and whether the results in the Ezzos’ own family support their teaching. The debate is wearying, but it is crucial to the Christian

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