GKGW Myths and Misconceptions

A former GFI Contact Mom and pastor's wife speaks from the heart

I would first like to dispel some of the myths about people who speak out against Growing Kids God's Way.

Myth: People who don't like GKGW have never read or used GKGW.

I was a contact mom for 2 years, and not only followed the materials myself but counseled hundreds of other moms in their use. In fact, there are still ideas contained in GKGW (ideas which can also be found elsewhere) that I use today.

Myth: People who don't like GKGW are Ezzo-bashers.

I have nothing bad to say about the Ezzos. I have never met them personally, although I have had a few email interactions with Anne Marie. She seemed personable and kind.

Myth: Perhaps new Christians might struggle with legalism in implementing GKGW, but certainly not an established Christian.

I was not a new Christian when I came across GKGW. I had been through extensive training in the doctrine of Grace, and belonged to solid, Bible-believing churches. My husband was a pastor. When I read the warnings of some theologians, I thought they would never be issues for me.

There are some good things I've learned from GKGW. That was where I was first introduced to the Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman. This book is excellent. I also love the idea of filling our child's "moral warehouse" so that they learn to think about why to do or not to do something. The concepts of childishness versus foolishness have been helpful to me, although without accompanying age-appropriate expectations (which are impossible to come by when 18 month olds are lumped together with 8 year olds), these concepts can just as easily be misunderstood and damage family relationships. I agree with the use of phrases like "yes, mom" although I find no need to be dogmatic about them (saying ok instead of yes is not a hill I need to die on). I like the interrupt rule, and five-minute warnings.

Having said that, let me relate some of the common struggles of parents and misconceptions the materials communicate or encourage:

Misconceptions: We need to fix our children. Or, being parent-centered is better than being child-centered.

This thinking starts in Prep for Parenting (now retitled, "Let the Children Come...Along the Infant Way".) One thought that seems to be communicated is that every behavior has some kind of a "fix," and that if parents just do things "correctly" they can fix the problem and be done with it. Children become projects, something to fix instead of someone to love. In addition to myself, I've talked with many parents who thought this way without realizing it.

But frustrating as it may be, we can't fix every behavior! There are some things that we have to be willing to live through and work through with our kids, and it just takes time.

When I stopped doing GKGW, there was an entire year when all I did was focus on loving my children, working on our relationship. Not that I never disciplined, but that I really needed to think through what it means to love my children. Being a mom is about so much more than disciplining them into being what we want them to be. It's too easy to discipline for our convenience instead of in love, thinking of their benefit. The materials warn against being child-centered, but unwittingly many parents become parent-centered instead. Neither puts God in His proper position in our lives.

I spent a whole year praying through 1 Corinthians 13:4-7a (love is patient, love is kind etc...). I spent a month praying about patience--was I showing patience with my kids? Then a month on kindness--do I use kind words and a kind tone with them? etc... This so changed me.

Misconception: You can rely on what you read (rather than on God).

PFP and GKGW do not prepare parents to draw continuously on Christ, they prepare parents for formulaic living. It's not so much that the right message isn't in there, it's a matter of emphasis and what parents come away with remembering. Too often they merely remember that if they do things right, their kids will sleep through early and won't be bratty in public.

When I decided to become a contact mom, I emailed with former GFI employees Eric & Julie Abel. They warned that many parents find themselves relying "on the extent of the formula to parent, and raising children is relegated to a series of actions rather then a spiritual journey where reliance upon God is critical."

How surprised I was, upon re-reading this email 3 years later, to see that he outlined the very struggles I was having. I thought that if I could learn all the rules, guidelines, and Biblical principles, I would know what to do--that there's always answers and it's just a matter of me learning the right answers. And subtly, inside, I believed that when I learned all the principles, I could set Christ aside, I wouldn't need to draw on Him because I could draw on my own strength. How awful!

I don't blame that all on GFI, I had to take responsibility for this as my struggle. I just see how the materials reinforced this way of thinking in me, and in many people I worked with as a contact mom. It was necessary for me to return to the Bible and God as my first source, and measure all other things against them. We all want our children to turn out right, but the answers cannot be found just in a book. We need to search for answers on our knees instead of at our fingertips.

I'd add that GKGW makes reaching the child's heart the parent's responsibility, when instead it is truly the Holy Spirit's. We are partners, aids, but God does the work.

Misconception: What others think should govern my parenting.

GKGW teaches parents to be constantly consumed with what others are thinking about their children by focusing on "the preciousness of others." The over-arching principle communicated is that we discipline to meet the standards of others, which instead of developing love for others develops pride and reactionary parenting. Constantly evaluating what others think is unhealthy for parents and children.

Additionally, Mr. Ezzo wrongfully takes on an authoritarian role in this regard. He asks parents to question not whether we or the grandparents enjoy our children, but if the Ezzos came to dinner, would our children be a joy and act appropriately? The basic truth of course, is that our children should behave well no matter who is there. But by putting himself in that position, he takes on an authoritarian role, as if he is a judge, the final standard on how our kids are doing.

Misconception: Boys can't be boys

The teachings on self-control in the materials, while often useful, are really a mixed bag. They set up unrealistic expectations. To establish what is "possible," Mr. Ezzo gives an example of a young child who sits calmly and quietly with hands folded while getting stitches. Truly this will be an exception to the rule, and not the norm.

Then in one video clip, a boy about 6-8 years old is pictured as squirming in his seat in a doctor's waiting room. The mother has a magazine to read, while the child has nothing-yet is expected to have the "self-control" to not squirm about. Why doesn't the mom give him something to read, or better yet talk with him, or read to him herself?

Mr. Ezzo communicates that we must teach self-control to our kids, and that lack of it is why so many kids struggle in school. Immediately the parent sees the need and responds to fear. While I think training in self-control has great value, these materials do nothing to demonstrate what is realistic to expect out of young children, especially boys.

In Dr. James Dobson's book, Bringing up Boys, research reveals that it can be especially difficult for boys to sit all day in a school desk at a young age. I remember him quoting one man who recalled his days in first grade thinking, "If only I could stand, if I could just stand up, I'd be ok…" GKGW does not present any understanding of male-appropriate guidelines or age-appropriate behaviors.

Misconception: Exclusivity and isolationism are preferred.

The GKGW series does not present itself as another one of many good resources, it presents itself as all you'll need. After all, it's "God's Way."

Like many parents, I relied too heavily on the materials, and then began to realize I was excluding God. I actually had the thought, when faced with situations, "I don't need to pray over this, I already know the answer." That is so faulty! I immersed myself to the point that I read very few other parenting materials-what was the need, GKGW had it all! I even remember a few occasions having the thought, "why would I need to measure GKGW against the Bible, the Bible's in there!" And instead of checking the context of each passage to see if scripture was handled correctly (often not the case, sadly), I took the book's word for it. As I write this, I can't even believe I thought that!! It's really dangerous to be that narrow-minded concerning what one man thinks and how one man views parenting, God, and the Bible.

One mom told me, "That's one of the reasons that I liked the Ezzo's teachings, they are all neatly packaged and I didn't have to do the work of sorting out all the different philosophies out there. Now I'm realizing that I wasn't really being a thinking parent by taking that approach."

Many moms I talked with thought they could only seek out guidance from someone doing GKGW, which really limits their opportunities. Also, a frequent question I received as a contact mom was over the concern of letting children play with Christian but non-GKGW-raised children. Again, fear was the motivator-what bad habits would their children pick up from these other children?

In summary, when I finally was willing to look into things, I was overwhelmed by the number of churches, theologians, organizations, and individuals who brought forward the very concerns and conclusions I had finally come to. I say that not say it will happen to you, but just as a caution to remember to rely on God and evaluate everything through him, and by all means "Test everything, hold onto what is good." (1 Thes. 5:21)

If you have used GKGW and are feeling discouraged over mistakes you've made, let me encourage you, it's not too late. God can and will work in your life and in your children's lives. You can rebuild your relationship with your children if it's been damaged. Pray, search the scriptures, put the parenting books aside for awhile, and seek the Lord. Most of all, seek how you can show grace to your children. One mom wrote to me, "Think about how often your own motivation to submit to the Lord or others comes from a pure heart. How often do your motivations and expectations for your children come from a pure heart?"

Remembering these questions can help us be our children's allies in their struggle to follow God, rather than parents who dogmatically follow formulas. Please know that I am not saying all parents who use GKGW are dogmatic or follow formulas. I just know many that fell into that trap as I did. And while the law shows us our need for Christ, it has no power to change us. In fact, Paul lays out quite clearly in Romans 7 how the law encouraged him to sin more, much to his confusion. Titus 2:12 teaches that instead it is grace that teaches us to say no to ungodliness. I think if we are to truly have a significant role alongside God in reaching the hearts of our children, that we must come to understand that concept and how it fits into our parenting. By grace I do not mean permissiveness, but that would be another article! Love your children, train them, and pray over them always.

Stories of Former Users and Supporters

  • On Becoming Wise to Ezzo's Information +

    Ezzo's book, Babywise, was suggested to me through some really great friends at church.  They had a picture perfect daughter who napped well, seemed to go with the flow, and seemed pretty independent.  I praised my friends for such great parenting and they told me to read this book and apply it as soon as possible. When we were pregnant, we read this book over and over.  I was thrilled my husband agreed to go through with this type of parenting.
    Read More
  • Follow Jesus, Not Methods +

    I read Babywise while pregnant with my first son.  At that time, I was a proud, over-achieving, controlling, perfectionist of a mother who was thrilled that I had stumbled upon the "perfect" and "godly" parenting method.  I felt that by having control over my baby's schedule, I was setting them up for a solid relationship with Jesus Christ because they would naturally bow to authority. Everything went according to plan with my son.  He was on the schedule and sleeping through the night at nine weeks.  I glowed beneath the
    Read More
  • Our un-Wise Baby Experience +

    Encouragement for Christian Parents Before having our first baby, I thought I had the whole ‘rearing children’ thing sorted.  I had watched my older siblings raise their children, done plenty of babysitting, and even helped mothers with post natal depression for a while.  I thought fussy babies were created by fussy mothers, and was convinced I would have an easy child who would sleep through the night by the six weeks.  I certainly wouldn’t be one of ‘those’ mothers still getting up during the night for their six month old!
    Read More
  • Naïve Young Parents in Chicago +

    My husband and I were newlyweds in the Chicago area, and about to have our first child. We wanted to learn more about parenting from a Christian perspective so we went to a GFI parenting class at church where we could get together with new parents-to-be. My frustration is that it seems the Ezzos never took into consideration the moms who suffer from PPD. My depression was pretty debilitating and when my son wasn't "following the program" so to speak, it created a lot of additional stress.
    Read More
  • Failure to Thrive +

    I was given Babywise (the 2001 edition) and being an uninformed, naive mother the book's goal sounded good to me. I was so thrilled when my daughter suddenly started sleeping 8-10, even 12 hours overnight! She never cried herself to sleep so I really thought everything was okay. She was responding just as the book had said she would. I had, by Ezzo's description, the "perfect" child: the one who easily fell into her feeding schedule and who was sleeping 10+ hours at night. It was picture perfect. She just
    Read More
  • Nourishing and Nurturing +

    I am a first time mom. My son is now 6 months old. Before he was born, I was referred to the Babywise books by Ezzo. I thought, "Wow, what a practical and perfectly logical way to manage feedings." So, I tried it. When my baby was 2 weeks old, I began the Babywise recommended feeding routine. It seemed to be working great. He was really rarely fussy. He was just a happy baby. But at around 3 months of age he was beginning to get a little fussier. I
    Read More
  • Baby Loves Routine +

    Before my son was born I really hadn't given much thought as to "how" to feed a baby; I knew that I wanted to breastfeed and all of the mainstream parenting books I had read made it seem so easy. I figured it would be as easy as Baby Cries, Baby Latches On, Baby Eats. I was in for a rude awakening once he was born. I had a very hard time getting the hang of breastfeeding, and had very little support. I only had one friend who breastfed, and
    Read More
  • Read the Baby, Not the Book +

    I'm thankful my Babywise experience was a short one. At the recommendation of friends, I was planning to use the Babywise method to get my baby on a schedule right away. It was especially attractive to me since I was recovering from a c-section and desperate for sleep and structure. I had a fairly long hospital stay because of the surgery, and it was a rough time both for me and for the baby. At first, it was easy to get him to eat or sleep when I wanted him
    Read More
  • Pediatric Nurse and ex-Ezzo Parent +

    My husband and I faithfully read this book and the full Growing Kids God's Way curriculum. We were excited to be presented with seemingly sound advice and felt prepared to face every part of parenting. We followed the advice on feeding and sleep schedules very closely, until my 5 week old son began failing to gain weight. Fortunately I am a pediatric nurse and noticed the early signs before his health was severely affected. I visited a lactation consultant and learned that my milk supply was almost gone (pumping only
    Read More
  • Our Journey to Freedom +

    I was only ten weeks pregnant when my husband and I signed up to take Prep for Parenting [now called "Along the Infant Way" and also known as Babywise in its secular form] at a reputable church. Family members and friends recommended the course. We wanted to be the best parents we could possibly be for our first child. My husband didn't really want to take the classes, not due to lack of interest in fatherhood, but rather, he thought the idea of taking a class to prepare you for
    Read More
  • GKGW Myths and Misconceptions +

    A former GFI Contact Mom and pastor's wife speaks from the heart I would first like to dispel some of the myths about people who speak out against Growing Kids God's Way. Myth: People who don't like GKGW have never read or used GKGW. I was a contact mom for 2 years, and not only followed the materials myself but counseled hundreds of other moms in their use. In fact, there are still ideas contained in GKGW (ideas which can also be found elsewhere) that I use today. Myth: People
    Read More
  • Just in Time +

    My son is 11 months old and is healthy and happy and still nursing like a pro. If I were still schedule feeding him, I think he would be formula fed, sad and distant. I read Baby Whisperer and Babywise before J. was born, but I didn't really come to any decision on whether to put him on a schedule or not. I knew that the AAP, the health unit and my doctor advocated feeding on demand, but the scheduling seemed to make more sense. I mean, after all, who
    Read More
  • A Pastor's Wife's Experience and Observations +

    When my first baby was about 6 weeks old I was exhausted and overwhelmed. I had no friends with babies and my family lived 5 hours away.  I was very isolated. I didn't know what was normal and what wasn't.  I got most of my support from my mom which was great except she never breastfed a baby.  I was very committed to breastfeeding for financial reasons: my husband was a pastor and we were on a very strict budget. Formula just wasn't an option. A young mother in my
    Read More
  • Frazzled and Uptight No More +

    I was totally convinced that Ezzo was the way to go. In fact, before my daughter was born, nobody could convince me that Ezzo was bad. I was very determined to have a "good" kid. However, I was an extremely uptight, frazzled Babywiser. I was always aware of what time it was, when the last feeding was, when the next one was due. I had a huge notebook and I took tons of notes, trying to figure out what worked to minimize the crying.
    Read More
  • Learning to Trust my Instincts +

    I'm a mom of 5, including a pair of twins. We took the Prep for Parenting class while pregnant with my oldest. I knew absolutely nothing about kids or babies, so I believed everything they told me--except I had a nagging uneasiness in the back of my mind because I felt they misused the Bible. I did not enjoy my first daughter's babyhood. I was miserable when she was crying alone in her room, yet felt that she would be 'spoiled' if I went in to her, and she would
    Read More
  • It's One or the Other +

    [and other Babywise myths that hooked us.] "Of COURSE you can rock your baby to sleep! Just don't make it a habit." Before I had my baby, this actually made sense. After I had her, I remember thinking: "How much is a habit? I did it once yesterday ... can I do it again today? What if I did it twice in one day?" Not to mention that if a newborn baby is crying and you comfort it by rocking or nursing, it will almost surely fall asleep. So, basically, "Don't
    Read More
  • Mothering with Babywise: My Secret Pain +

    It started innocently enough. I was visiting a friend who recently gave birth to a baby girl. Sitting on her couch, sipping tea, I asked her, "So…how often do you feed your daughter?" It was then that I was introduced to the principles of Babywise. Being pregnant myself for the first time, I was intrigued. A couple of days later, I bought the book. I read it within days, and knew it was for me. Being an organized person, I feared chaos in my home once a baby was born.
    Read More
  • From Babywise to Enjoying my Baby +

    From hearing my friends talk, I thought Babywise was the only way to raise your baby, so there was no question that I would use it too. I read the book before my daughter was born and re-read it again after she was born. I felt like I had to really work hard to get her on a schedule or she would be a brat and never sleep through the night. So, the first week I immediately tried getting her on a three hour schedule. I always felt guilty when
    Read More
  • Less Stressed Without Babywise +

    I would have said that we were happy following Ezzo, but I can honestly say that we are much happier now. I am so much less stressed out! I didn't realize how much stress Babywising put on me until I quit. So many people had told me how wonderful a program Babywise was to get babies to sleep through the night and get order into your day. I think that was a large part of the appeal, not so much the sleeping through the night, but the orderly day. I
    Read More
  • 10 Years of GKGW +

    I want to share our story in the hope that it may perhaps help to warn others who are heading down the Growing Kids God's Way path. We still ask ourselves, how could we have been deceived for so long? In 1992, dear friends of ours, who had found Preparation For Parenting [PFP] the previous year, recommended Growing Kids God's Way [GKGW] to my husband and me. Our eldest son was 2 ½ years old. We had come from a cue feeding/attachment parenting background, but we were very young, immature Christians,
    Read More
  • Deep Regrets, New Mercies +

    Our family was involved with Gary Ezzo’s teachings from the winter of 1991 when I was pregnant with our first child until almost two years ago. When we were first exposed to his teachings, I was only two years out of university where I had completed a broad social sciences degree. If you had asked me about infant feeding routines I would have said they were NOT the way to go - that is, before I listened to the Preparation for Parenting tapes with my husband and another couple we were
    Read More
  • Relaxing into a Routine +

    More and more since we've distanced ourselves from the GFI materials, I realize how deeply influenced we were. I didn't have some of the discipline or milk supply problems that I've heard about, but we've had other problems--mainly a deep misunderstanding of what is child-appropriate behavior, and consequently, we stressed out over things that we never should have been upset about (from the infant stage to now at the primary aged child). I've had to re-learn how to relax about certain things, and create an atmosphere of trust and understanding
    Read More
  • If I Could Turn Back the Clock +

    I would give anything in the world to be able to turn back the clock and learn about the concerns and controversy surrounding Ezzo's methods before my dear daughter was born. I was not aware of any of the problems with his teachings; I had only heard positive things about his books and knew friends who were using or had used his books when I started following Babywise with my own daughter (when she was about 2 weeks old). I am a very by-the-book, black-and-white type person. I'm also a
    Read More
  • Coping with Attachment Disorder +

    We were introduced to Ezzo materials in 1995 through our church group of young adults. By the time we were pregnant (Sept 95) many families had been through the course. Everyone kept telling us how we HAD to do the program--it's the best, it works, it's incredible, you won't be sorry, you'll feel so much better about being a parent. The positive statements never ended. We took it early in 96, and finished a few weeks before I was due. My son was born, and had a very traumatic birth.
    Read More
  • The "Y" Family's Experience +

    In writing this testimony, we have seen arguments that people who fail with Ezzo's materials are unintelligent or inconsistent with the materials. My husband and I are well-educated people. My husband graduated from Emory University and had an additional four years of graduate school (total of eight years of education) to become a doctor of optometry. I have a degree in special education and had a few years of teaching experience under my belt when we encountered the Ezzo's materials. We are also Christians, wholly devoted to Christ and rearing
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  • The "H" Family's Experience +

    An In-depth Case History My husband and I were introduced to the Growing Kids God's Way (GKGW) programs through a pastor friend after we discovered we were expecting our first child, and our son was one month old when we began using Preparation for Parenting. This was the first book we had ever read about baby care that seemed to come from a decidedly Christian perspective, with scripture all over the place, and it pointed out that basically all the typical feeding, baby care, and parenting information being taught today
    Read More
  • Open Letter about Failure to Thrive +

    The purpose of this letter is to generate public awareness about yet another child who has surely suffered due to following a Christian parenting program entitled Preparation for Parent-ing/Preparation for the Toddler Years (secular versions marketed in stores as On Becoming BabyWise 1 & 2) by Gary and Anne Marie Ezzo . We hope that knowledge of his case can be used to promote existing and future efforts to inform communities of the extremely serious dangers associated with following the Ezzos' program, even in its newest editions [1998 at the time
    Read More
  • Confessions of a Failed Babywiser +

    This essay is written both as catharsis and restitution. I regret that I encouraged many parents to use the Ezzo materials and feel compelled to warn against it. I also want to share how level-headed parents can be allured by this program. There are many other resources online that outline the medical, Biblical and character problems associated with Gary Ezzo and his parenting programs. With this, I hope to offer a personal view of how these materials can negatively effect a family. I cradled my six month old son in
    Read More
  • Failed Babywiser - Russian Version +

    Confessions of a Failed Babywiser - Russian Translation
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  • An Ex-Contact Mom Speaks Out +

    While I was a contact mom for GFI (for a year and a half), I never once met a mom who breastfed long-term (at least a year or longer) without modifying the materials. I did see babies who appeared listless and in a depressed state, who were smaller than average or scrawny. I met scores of moms who struggled with milk supply to a point that it completely removed the enjoyment of nursing their babies. I met babies who went one or two months without gaining any weight at all
    Read More
  • Thoughts from a Former Contact Mom +

    I used Ezzo stuff because it really fit my personality. I'm very structured and don't handle lots of chaos very well. I started with Preparation for Parenting when my youngest was a newborn. He is 12-1/2 now. My other kids are 11, 8, 5, and 7 months. I was also a "contact mom" for GFI for several years. We used Preparation for the Toddler Years (back before it was even an "official" program), and GKGW, also. We read through Reflections of Moral Innocence and ended up not using that. Having
    Read More
  • Former GFI Leadership Couple, Eric and Julie Abel +

    The Abels helped found GFI and were featured on GKGW curriculum video tapes resigned over ethical concerns. Here they share their thoughts on how some aspects of the GKGW principles were detrimental to their family.   This is the Internet archive of that FAQ
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  • A Group of Case Studies +

    This group of case histories was compiled by Laurie Moody, an ex-contact mom with GFI. Unlike most contact moms, this one was a certified lactation counselor. http://www.angelfire.com/md2/moodyfamily/casestudies.html
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  • More Stories from around the Web +

    7/20/1997 Link to post "...the church's youth pastor invited me into his office and told me about the Ezzo's programs and how important they were to effective Christian and biblical parenting. ...I took the book right home and read it straight through. I immediately felt immensly guilty that I had been demand-feeding my baby and sat down to scratch out a schedule for him. But even as I was doing it I had a very uneasy feeling in my gut, so I prayed and asked God for wisdom regarding accepting
    Read More
  • Babywise Stole Precious Weeks +

    BabyWise stole many precious weeks from me in the beginning of my son's life. I wish I could have just loved on him without all the fear that Ezzo put into me about creating a spoiled baby. When I found out I was pregnant with my son, I sought the advice out of women that I knew and respected who had children. My own mom died when I was 19, and I felt truly lost as I searched for the "right" way to be a mom. One of the friends
    Read More
  • Ezzo Lived in My Brain +

    I heard a lot about how awesome GKGW and Babywise are so naturally I bought Babywise when I was pregnant with my first. But my baby was teeny (6.5) and jaundiced, so the lactation consultant adamantly emphasized feeding on cue and even suggested co-sleeping.  My husband brought her in our bedroom the first night home from the hospital and said, "we can't just put her away". He can't stand to hear a baby cry. We did not end up actively using Babywise.  Even so, having read the book, Ezzo lived
    Read More
  • Young, Naive, Pregnant with First Child +

    The year was 2008. A young, naive woman is pregnant with her first child. She is unsure, lacks confidence and wants to be certain she does the best job for her unborn child. Yet there are a great deal of books, resources and information - which ones to start with? Which ones to trust? So she turns to older, more experienced mothers who all but thrust this book into her hands and begin making the promises.
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  • A note of appreciation from an older parent +

    Let me start by saying that 14 or 15 years ago, I was in the unhappy position of having to do everything in my power to force two sets of new parents to drive their babies to the emergency room because, after following the Ezzo’s advice, these babies were severely dehydrated and lethargic.  The parents were not bad parents.  In fact, they were trying really hard to be good parents, according to guidelines which had been sanctioned by their church.  The fact that both contacted me for a home visit,
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  • Confessions of a Former Babywise Advocate +

    This story comes via the blog "Banned from Baby Showers".   The blog owner shares a mother's account of how she used Babywise successfully -- as far as she knew -- until her baby was 7 months old, and then her milk supply began to peter out.  Confessions of a Former Babywise Advocate
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  • A Forgiven Mama +

    Our first child was born in the summer of 09, and I promptly began trying to apply the Babywise method. The book had been highly recommended by a distant relative, and promised structure and sanity amidst the exhaustion and upheaval I felt as a new mother. However, our baby did not respond the way the book promised he would if we followed the schedule. All my attempts to adhere to the book led to deep frustration, arguments with my husband (who knew better than to let a book dictate our newborn's schedule), feeling like a
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