Deep Regrets, New Mercies

Our family was involved with Gary Ezzo’s teachings from the winter of 1991 when I was pregnant with our first child until almost two years ago. When we were first exposed to his teachings, I was only two years out of university where I had completed a broad social sciences degree.

If you had asked me about infant feeding routines I would have said they were NOT the way to go - that is, before I listened to the Preparation for Parenting tapes with my husband and another couple we were friendly with.

A unique mix of things appealed: the material was from a Christian perspective, we had our friends telling us the horrors of demand feeding their first child and the outworkings they said they were now seeing in this child’s life, and of course we thought just maybe this author did have a surefire way to get our baby to sleep through the night by 6-8 weeks.

Could it hurt to listen to these tapes with an open mind, see what we thought, and then decide to take it or leave it?

With the impending loss of personal control over our lives that was sure to come with the baby's arrival, and being a couple who really wanted to serve God and have every part of our lives reflect His Kingdom and not that of the world and our own culture, we were ripe to take on Ezzo’s ideas hook, line and sinker, heeding Ezzo's warnings about those parents who are only "Christian up to a point." We went on to influence many of our closest friends to do the same. We were unique in our church and in our city, because at that time there were hardly any other people we knew that were “doing Prep”.

We met with a delightful couple a few times and roared through the tapes. It all seemed to make sense, and sounded Biblical. I made sure to tell my doctor that I would feed my baby on a “flexible routine” and I worried that he would somehow pressure me to demand feed my baby, which of course would be terrible because it would mean that the 'metabolic chaos' which Gary Ezzo talks about would really set in! From studying Ezzo's material we knew that we needed to BE the parents and show our baby who was in control, in a loving way, and this loving way was the flexible routine, and that outsiders like doctors might not understand these principles.

Well, soon after birth our beautiful child was rushed to the Special Care baby Unit for about a day– and as a young mom with no clue of what to do, I was immediately stressing out about the routine. Thankfully they seemed to routine-feed babies there! Phew! "They will get it all started for me," I thought.

Then came that feeling only first time parents remember – being at home, all alone, with the baby and not knowing what on earth to do! "Oh boy he is crying and crying and I cannot pick him up because he has to wait for the time to feed!" I remember thinking.

I remember some friends coming over and remarking, "do you think it will really hurt if you just pick him up?!"

I found visitors an intrusion and a complete stress because I could not tell anyone what I was doing. I knew they would not understand! "It’s a flexible routine!" I kept telling myself defensively.

I knew one other mother who was doing this to her baby but I didn’t feel I could bother her much. However, I had the book which I thumbed through and read and reread til I could parrot a lot of it off by memory.

I was incredibly stressed out about doing this right, thinking that if I did not feed my baby exactly within the book's guidelines that I would wreck everything. Not only was I responsible for staving off metabolic chaos, I was also worried about setting the pattern for a home where children would be "welcome members of the family but not the center of the family universe", which Gary Ezzo had said was so critical to establish in these early months. I felt that I could not pick up my 1 week old baby when he was crying before the time frame given by Gary Ezzo had elapsed. Looking back I truly and really feel I was experimenting on my child, a human being, with new ideas off a tape series from a guy on the other side of the world! I cannot believe that I set aside three years of learning about child development and psychology and education, etc., for these crazy ideas with no medical support and not even a medical person writing them!

However, when our baby slept through the night within the time frame Ezzo predicted, it proved to us the wisdom of all of Ezzo's ideas. "Praise the Lord," we thought. "Wow! He has the new secret that all parents need to know – and because it is Christian maybe many many people will come to Christ through this!"

We thought this was the greatest thing since sliced bread, because children will fit into the family instead of controlling it and calling all the shots. We watched other parents who weren't using this method and noticed that just as Ezzo predicted, they indeed seemed truly stressed out, whereas we were so relaxed, getting our 8 hours of sleep, then 12 hours by 12 weeks, etc.

When our baby was 6 months old we decided to leave him to cry it out to get rid of the pacifier, but such was the state of mind I was in, that I left him to cry without his pacifier for his two daytime naps but gave the pacifier to him at night! He cried for 45 minutes each time, hard. By the fourth day he got it – at night I have it, in the day I don’t –just proves the intelligent stock he comes from I suppose! All joking aside, I see my expectation that this plan would work, however inconsistent it might be, as indicative of my state of mind at the time…thinking that as the mum I could simply decide such a thing, and then expect the baby to fall into line.

When he was 5 months old we sat in on a GKGW course with some friends. Looking back, I see how we prepared ourselves to look for conflict with him because this (GKGW) was where the godly training comes in, where we would lovingly, through pain and repetition of instruction and isolation teach our children God’s love. A winding path of logic -- it made sense at the time but no longer makes any sense to us!

I also listened to the old Preparation for Toddlerhood tapes which the Ezzos endorsed, and from these I got ideas on teaching proper mealtime behaviour -- flicking his cheek to keep his face to the front, slapping his hands to teach him to keep them down, and other very abusive tactics. I think he was around 7 months at this time (which is very distressing to recall.)

Constant conflict sums up our experience as we began to try very earnestly to train our son to First Time Obedience, another Ezzo ideal.

Although I did not recognize this until years later, in hindsight I see that he soon became very sad and frustrated. It was not just the spanking but also the way we, his parents, became very frustrated people--thinking if we let up on "the standards" we would ruin him. Some things I see in his life now I believe are post trauma issues. And we are still left with conflict! I want my money back!

A lot has been written about babies and PFP but I would like to tell you more about what happened while implementing Ezzo’s ideas for older children.

My son seemed more and more angry and depressed (though no clinical diagnosis) as he got older. We decided to not send him to the state-provided preschool facilities because of the lack of like-minded teachers to reinforce our careful training and hard work! Then, in order to continue to limit his contact with the non-like-minded world and to work on the moral training and "interdependent family" ideals Ezzo teaches, we decided we would homeschool. To complicate matters, we moved to another city and our son did not have many friends his own age. He played outside a lot and with his Legos and his sister, but now he recounts how desperately lonely he felt at that time, and just “out of it". The social needs of our son, an extrovert, had no legitimate place within this system.

Then we moved to another country and culture altogether. Our stress as a family increased, our son was still lonely and missed having a peer group, and yet we felt we had to keep up the Ezzo standards or ruin our child. The stress of maintaining the regime added to the stress we all faced in moving to a new culture. He started banging his head when he became really angry, sometimes saying pain felt good, sometimes saying that he wanted to die. At the same time we were still desperately working on First Time Obedience---“first time, all the time, with a happy attitude”. (We never got there even though I was so on top of everything! I now see it as a ridiculous concept.)

Fortunately things were soon to change for the better.

For the first time we were separated from our group of close friends who all were pro-Ezzo. We developed other close friends who seemed to be practicing "attachment parenting".

At first I thought these families were ruled by their kids, but over time I noticed what trusting relationships they had and how great their kids were, without all the stress we were having, and had been through.

I also had two older friends love me enough to be truthful to me – one commented that my son seemed to be an angry boy, and that someone should find out what he was angry about! Then another person took me aside and spoke to me about the homeschooling since she had noticed that we all seemed to be not coping so well.

At the same time I met a child psychologist and we became fast friends, and as we chatted about psychology etc I realized that it was not all wrong but much of it is part of God’s general revelation, there in creation for us all to find out if we care to look, part of how we are made. My major had included psychology, but I had tossed a lot of it when I had taken on ideas from conservative Christian teachers who Gary Ezzo recommended or was associated with.

Those events were the catalyst to get me thinking. I looked up on the internet for “Ezzo and concerns” and found the Ezzo Debate Board and several documents. As I read and read over a period of some weeks I had a full and devastating realization that Gary Ezzo did not know what he was talking about and that we had inflicted abuse on our children in the name of God that was all wrong.

We took our spanking instrument and cut it up in front of the children and explained (they were now 9 and 7) that we had been wrong and deceived and that we would find another way and not spank them ever again! I have not seen a grin so broad on my son’s face – what must have been bound up for him in the sight of that evil thing I cannot know.

I started feeding the kids at all times of the day. I had been in a habit of making them wait, of seeing food in a negative light, and now even if it was way past bedtime and my kids said they were still hungry I would fix something for them.

I ditched all Ezzo lingo, such as "come to Mommy", "please come the first time," "please wait for me in the bedroom," "that is inappropriate," "first time obedience," all of it! I started lying down with our kids for ages at night, and started an open bed policy, letting them know they are welcome in our bed any time of the night. Our son still comes in with us each night from about 2 til the morning and I know it has been a really restorative thing for us all.

We had many sleep issues with him. Even if you sleep train a small baby, when he has grown into a kid with a lot on his mind, chances are he will start waking up! I hope in the next few years to restore the damage of all the times I did not meet his needs in the middle of the night.

So, two years on we are doing a lot better. Our son is very resilient and spunky, though I do see damage done--and I still feel very devastated at times. What has been so comforting has been noticing the presence of God, and the answers to prayers thru a dark time of regret, of Bible aversion, and of anger and grief and sorting it all through. Do you know that God still likes me and is still answering prayers?! That's a lesson for my children to learn!!

My son, in talking this through with us asked innocently, "Mummy, were you spanked a lot as a child?" It cut me to the heart, because the truth is, no, I had a very normal childhood. You would have thought I would know better.

We were deceived.

Submitted August 12, 2003
By Name Withheld

Stories of Former Users and Supporters

  • On Becoming Wise to Ezzo's Information +

    Ezzo's book, Babywise, was suggested to me through some really great friends at church.  They had a picture perfect daughter who napped well, seemed to go with the flow, and seemed pretty independent.  I praised my friends for such great parenting and they told me to read this book and apply it as soon as possible. When we were pregnant, we read this book over and over.  I was thrilled my husband agreed to go through with this type of parenting.
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  • Follow Jesus, Not Methods +

    I read Babywise while pregnant with my first son.  At that time, I was a proud, over-achieving, controlling, perfectionist of a mother who was thrilled that I had stumbled upon the "perfect" and "godly" parenting method.  I felt that by having control over my baby's schedule, I was setting them up for a solid relationship with Jesus Christ because they would naturally bow to authority. Everything went according to plan with my son.  He was on the schedule and sleeping through the night at nine weeks.  I glowed beneath the
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  • Our un-Wise Baby Experience +

    Encouragement for Christian Parents Before having our first baby, I thought I had the whole ‘rearing children’ thing sorted.  I had watched my older siblings raise their children, done plenty of babysitting, and even helped mothers with post natal depression for a while.  I thought fussy babies were created by fussy mothers, and was convinced I would have an easy child who would sleep through the night by the six weeks.  I certainly wouldn’t be one of ‘those’ mothers still getting up during the night for their six month old!
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  • Naïve Young Parents in Chicago +

    My husband and I were newlyweds in the Chicago area, and about to have our first child. We wanted to learn more about parenting from a Christian perspective so we went to a GFI parenting class at church where we could get together with new parents-to-be. My frustration is that it seems the Ezzos never took into consideration the moms who suffer from PPD. My depression was pretty debilitating and when my son wasn't "following the program" so to speak, it created a lot of additional stress.
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  • Failure to Thrive +

    I was given Babywise (the 2001 edition) and being an uninformed, naive mother the book's goal sounded good to me. I was so thrilled when my daughter suddenly started sleeping 8-10, even 12 hours overnight! She never cried herself to sleep so I really thought everything was okay. She was responding just as the book had said she would. I had, by Ezzo's description, the "perfect" child: the one who easily fell into her feeding schedule and who was sleeping 10+ hours at night. It was picture perfect. She just
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  • Nourishing and Nurturing +

    I am a first time mom. My son is now 6 months old. Before he was born, I was referred to the Babywise books by Ezzo. I thought, "Wow, what a practical and perfectly logical way to manage feedings." So, I tried it. When my baby was 2 weeks old, I began the Babywise recommended feeding routine. It seemed to be working great. He was really rarely fussy. He was just a happy baby. But at around 3 months of age he was beginning to get a little fussier. I
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  • Baby Loves Routine +

    Before my son was born I really hadn't given much thought as to "how" to feed a baby; I knew that I wanted to breastfeed and all of the mainstream parenting books I had read made it seem so easy. I figured it would be as easy as Baby Cries, Baby Latches On, Baby Eats. I was in for a rude awakening once he was born. I had a very hard time getting the hang of breastfeeding, and had very little support. I only had one friend who breastfed, and
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  • Read the Baby, Not the Book +

    I'm thankful my Babywise experience was a short one. At the recommendation of friends, I was planning to use the Babywise method to get my baby on a schedule right away. It was especially attractive to me since I was recovering from a c-section and desperate for sleep and structure. I had a fairly long hospital stay because of the surgery, and it was a rough time both for me and for the baby. At first, it was easy to get him to eat or sleep when I wanted him
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  • Pediatric Nurse and ex-Ezzo Parent +

    My husband and I faithfully read this book and the full Growing Kids God's Way curriculum. We were excited to be presented with seemingly sound advice and felt prepared to face every part of parenting. We followed the advice on feeding and sleep schedules very closely, until my 5 week old son began failing to gain weight. Fortunately I am a pediatric nurse and noticed the early signs before his health was severely affected. I visited a lactation consultant and learned that my milk supply was almost gone (pumping only
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  • Our Journey to Freedom +

    I was only ten weeks pregnant when my husband and I signed up to take Prep for Parenting [now called "Along the Infant Way" and also known as Babywise in its secular form] at a reputable church. Family members and friends recommended the course. We wanted to be the best parents we could possibly be for our first child. My husband didn't really want to take the classes, not due to lack of interest in fatherhood, but rather, he thought the idea of taking a class to prepare you for
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  • GKGW Myths and Misconceptions +

    A former GFI Contact Mom and pastor's wife speaks from the heart I would first like to dispel some of the myths about people who speak out against Growing Kids God's Way. Myth: People who don't like GKGW have never read or used GKGW. I was a contact mom for 2 years, and not only followed the materials myself but counseled hundreds of other moms in their use. In fact, there are still ideas contained in GKGW (ideas which can also be found elsewhere) that I use today. Myth: People
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  • Just in Time +

    My son is 11 months old and is healthy and happy and still nursing like a pro. If I were still schedule feeding him, I think he would be formula fed, sad and distant. I read Baby Whisperer and Babywise before J. was born, but I didn't really come to any decision on whether to put him on a schedule or not. I knew that the AAP, the health unit and my doctor advocated feeding on demand, but the scheduling seemed to make more sense. I mean, after all, who
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  • A Pastor's Wife's Experience and Observations +

    When my first baby was about 6 weeks old I was exhausted and overwhelmed. I had no friends with babies and my family lived 5 hours away.  I was very isolated. I didn't know what was normal and what wasn't.  I got most of my support from my mom which was great except she never breastfed a baby.  I was very committed to breastfeeding for financial reasons: my husband was a pastor and we were on a very strict budget. Formula just wasn't an option. A young mother in my
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  • Frazzled and Uptight No More +

    I was totally convinced that Ezzo was the way to go. In fact, before my daughter was born, nobody could convince me that Ezzo was bad. I was very determined to have a "good" kid. However, I was an extremely uptight, frazzled Babywiser. I was always aware of what time it was, when the last feeding was, when the next one was due. I had a huge notebook and I took tons of notes, trying to figure out what worked to minimize the crying.
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  • Learning to Trust my Instincts +

    I'm a mom of 5, including a pair of twins. We took the Prep for Parenting class while pregnant with my oldest. I knew absolutely nothing about kids or babies, so I believed everything they told me--except I had a nagging uneasiness in the back of my mind because I felt they misused the Bible. I did not enjoy my first daughter's babyhood. I was miserable when she was crying alone in her room, yet felt that she would be 'spoiled' if I went in to her, and she would
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  • It's One or the Other +

    [and other Babywise myths that hooked us.] "Of COURSE you can rock your baby to sleep! Just don't make it a habit." Before I had my baby, this actually made sense. After I had her, I remember thinking: "How much is a habit? I did it once yesterday ... can I do it again today? What if I did it twice in one day?" Not to mention that if a newborn baby is crying and you comfort it by rocking or nursing, it will almost surely fall asleep. So, basically, "Don't
    Read More
  • Mothering with Babywise: My Secret Pain +

    It started innocently enough. I was visiting a friend who recently gave birth to a baby girl. Sitting on her couch, sipping tea, I asked her, "So…how often do you feed your daughter?" It was then that I was introduced to the principles of Babywise. Being pregnant myself for the first time, I was intrigued. A couple of days later, I bought the book. I read it within days, and knew it was for me. Being an organized person, I feared chaos in my home once a baby was born.
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  • From Babywise to Enjoying my Baby +

    From hearing my friends talk, I thought Babywise was the only way to raise your baby, so there was no question that I would use it too. I read the book before my daughter was born and re-read it again after she was born. I felt like I had to really work hard to get her on a schedule or she would be a brat and never sleep through the night. So, the first week I immediately tried getting her on a three hour schedule. I always felt guilty when
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  • Less Stressed Without Babywise +

    I would have said that we were happy following Ezzo, but I can honestly say that we are much happier now. I am so much less stressed out! I didn't realize how much stress Babywising put on me until I quit. So many people had told me how wonderful a program Babywise was to get babies to sleep through the night and get order into your day. I think that was a large part of the appeal, not so much the sleeping through the night, but the orderly day. I
    Read More
  • 10 Years of GKGW +

    I want to share our story in the hope that it may perhaps help to warn others who are heading down the Growing Kids God's Way path. We still ask ourselves, how could we have been deceived for so long? In 1992, dear friends of ours, who had found Preparation For Parenting [PFP] the previous year, recommended Growing Kids God's Way [GKGW] to my husband and me. Our eldest son was 2 ½ years old. We had come from a cue feeding/attachment parenting background, but we were very young, immature Christians,
    Read More
  • Deep Regrets, New Mercies +

    Our family was involved with Gary Ezzo’s teachings from the winter of 1991 when I was pregnant with our first child until almost two years ago. When we were first exposed to his teachings, I was only two years out of university where I had completed a broad social sciences degree. If you had asked me about infant feeding routines I would have said they were NOT the way to go - that is, before I listened to the Preparation for Parenting tapes with my husband and another couple we were
    Read More
  • Relaxing into a Routine +

    More and more since we've distanced ourselves from the GFI materials, I realize how deeply influenced we were. I didn't have some of the discipline or milk supply problems that I've heard about, but we've had other problems--mainly a deep misunderstanding of what is child-appropriate behavior, and consequently, we stressed out over things that we never should have been upset about (from the infant stage to now at the primary aged child). I've had to re-learn how to relax about certain things, and create an atmosphere of trust and understanding
    Read More
  • If I Could Turn Back the Clock +

    I would give anything in the world to be able to turn back the clock and learn about the concerns and controversy surrounding Ezzo's methods before my dear daughter was born. I was not aware of any of the problems with his teachings; I had only heard positive things about his books and knew friends who were using or had used his books when I started following Babywise with my own daughter (when she was about 2 weeks old). I am a very by-the-book, black-and-white type person. I'm also a
    Read More
  • Coping with Attachment Disorder +

    We were introduced to Ezzo materials in 1995 through our church group of young adults. By the time we were pregnant (Sept 95) many families had been through the course. Everyone kept telling us how we HAD to do the program--it's the best, it works, it's incredible, you won't be sorry, you'll feel so much better about being a parent. The positive statements never ended. We took it early in 96, and finished a few weeks before I was due. My son was born, and had a very traumatic birth.
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  • The "Y" Family's Experience +

    In writing this testimony, we have seen arguments that people who fail with Ezzo's materials are unintelligent or inconsistent with the materials. My husband and I are well-educated people. My husband graduated from Emory University and had an additional four years of graduate school (total of eight years of education) to become a doctor of optometry. I have a degree in special education and had a few years of teaching experience under my belt when we encountered the Ezzo's materials. We are also Christians, wholly devoted to Christ and rearing
    Read More
  • The "H" Family's Experience +

    An In-depth Case History My husband and I were introduced to the Growing Kids God's Way (GKGW) programs through a pastor friend after we discovered we were expecting our first child, and our son was one month old when we began using Preparation for Parenting. This was the first book we had ever read about baby care that seemed to come from a decidedly Christian perspective, with scripture all over the place, and it pointed out that basically all the typical feeding, baby care, and parenting information being taught today
    Read More
  • Open Letter about Failure to Thrive +

    The purpose of this letter is to generate public awareness about yet another child who has surely suffered due to following a Christian parenting program entitled Preparation for Parent-ing/Preparation for the Toddler Years (secular versions marketed in stores as On Becoming BabyWise 1 & 2) by Gary and Anne Marie Ezzo . We hope that knowledge of his case can be used to promote existing and future efforts to inform communities of the extremely serious dangers associated with following the Ezzos' program, even in its newest editions [1998 at the time
    Read More
  • Confessions of a Failed Babywiser +

    This essay is written both as catharsis and restitution. I regret that I encouraged many parents to use the Ezzo materials and feel compelled to warn against it. I also want to share how level-headed parents can be allured by this program. There are many other resources online that outline the medical, Biblical and character problems associated with Gary Ezzo and his parenting programs. With this, I hope to offer a personal view of how these materials can negatively effect a family. I cradled my six month old son in
    Read More
  • Failed Babywiser - Russian Version +

    Confessions of a Failed Babywiser - Russian Translation
    Read More
  • An Ex-Contact Mom Speaks Out +

    While I was a contact mom for GFI (for a year and a half), I never once met a mom who breastfed long-term (at least a year or longer) without modifying the materials. I did see babies who appeared listless and in a depressed state, who were smaller than average or scrawny. I met scores of moms who struggled with milk supply to a point that it completely removed the enjoyment of nursing their babies. I met babies who went one or two months without gaining any weight at all
    Read More
  • Thoughts from a Former Contact Mom +

    I used Ezzo stuff because it really fit my personality. I'm very structured and don't handle lots of chaos very well. I started with Preparation for Parenting when my youngest was a newborn. He is 12-1/2 now. My other kids are 11, 8, 5, and 7 months. I was also a "contact mom" for GFI for several years. We used Preparation for the Toddler Years (back before it was even an "official" program), and GKGW, also. We read through Reflections of Moral Innocence and ended up not using that. Having
    Read More
  • Former GFI Leadership Couple, Eric and Julie Abel +

    The Abels helped found GFI and were featured on GKGW curriculum video tapes resigned over ethical concerns. Here they share their thoughts on how some aspects of the GKGW principles were detrimental to their family.   This is the Internet archive of that FAQ
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  • A Group of Case Studies +

    This group of case histories was compiled by Laurie Moody, an ex-contact mom with GFI. Unlike most contact moms, this one was a certified lactation counselor.
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  • More Stories from around the Web +

    7/20/1997 Link to post "...the church's youth pastor invited me into his office and told me about the Ezzo's programs and how important they were to effective Christian and biblical parenting. ...I took the book right home and read it straight through. I immediately felt immensly guilty that I had been demand-feeding my baby and sat down to scratch out a schedule for him. But even as I was doing it I had a very uneasy feeling in my gut, so I prayed and asked God for wisdom regarding accepting
    Read More
  • Babywise Stole Precious Weeks +

    BabyWise stole many precious weeks from me in the beginning of my son's life. I wish I could have just loved on him without all the fear that Ezzo put into me about creating a spoiled baby. When I found out I was pregnant with my son, I sought the advice out of women that I knew and respected who had children. My own mom died when I was 19, and I felt truly lost as I searched for the "right" way to be a mom. One of the friends
    Read More
  • Ezzo Lived in My Brain +

    I heard a lot about how awesome GKGW and Babywise are so naturally I bought Babywise when I was pregnant with my first. But my baby was teeny (6.5) and jaundiced, so the lactation consultant adamantly emphasized feeding on cue and even suggested co-sleeping.  My husband brought her in our bedroom the first night home from the hospital and said, "we can't just put her away". He can't stand to hear a baby cry. We did not end up actively using Babywise.  Even so, having read the book, Ezzo lived
    Read More
  • Young, Naive, Pregnant with First Child +

    The year was 2008. A young, naive woman is pregnant with her first child. She is unsure, lacks confidence and wants to be certain she does the best job for her unborn child. Yet there are a great deal of books, resources and information - which ones to start with? Which ones to trust? So she turns to older, more experienced mothers who all but thrust this book into her hands and begin making the promises.
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  • A note of appreciation from an older parent +

    Let me start by saying that 14 or 15 years ago, I was in the unhappy position of having to do everything in my power to force two sets of new parents to drive their babies to the emergency room because, after following the Ezzo’s advice, these babies were severely dehydrated and lethargic.  The parents were not bad parents.  In fact, they were trying really hard to be good parents, according to guidelines which had been sanctioned by their church.  The fact that both contacted me for a home visit,
    Read More
  • Confessions of a Former Babywise Advocate +

    This story comes via the blog "Banned from Baby Showers".   The blog owner shares a mother's account of how she used Babywise successfully -- as far as she knew -- until her baby was 7 months old, and then her milk supply began to peter out.  Confessions of a Former Babywise Advocate
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  • A Forgiven Mama +

    Our first child was born in the summer of 09, and I promptly began trying to apply the Babywise method. The book had been highly recommended by a distant relative, and promised structure and sanity amidst the exhaustion and upheaval I felt as a new mother. However, our baby did not respond the way the book promised he would if we followed the schedule. All my attempts to adhere to the book led to deep frustration, arguments with my husband (who knew better than to let a book dictate our newborn's schedule), feeling like a
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