Let me start by saying that 14 or 15 years ago, I was in the unhappy position of having to do everything in my power to force two sets of new parents to drive their babies to the emergency room because, after following the Ezzo’s advice, these babies were severely dehydrated and lethargic. The parents were not bad parents. In fact, they were trying really hard to be good parents, according to guidelines which had been sanctioned by their church. The fact that both contacted me for a home visit, despite their disdain both for La Leche League and the Catholic Church, was a sign of their desperation. Tiny babies need to be fed when they are hungry, and the more a baby nurses, the more milk the mom makes – it’s God’s perfect system, including the natural response of the mother to comfort her child.
I’m writing for three reasons.
- First, to thank you for getting the truth out there where everyone can see it.
- Second, as a mom who fed her babies “on demand” and comforted them whenever they cried, I want to share the results so far: our oldest (who also nursed the longest and turned out to have very serious food allergies which he almost completely outgrew) is 22. Far from being a selfish, dependent adult, he is a leader: an athlete and excellent student who taught 4th grade Sunday school for several years while in High school, has gone on several mission trips to Central America as a young adult, gave a witness talk to our confirmation candidates and unlike many young adults, actively practices his faith even though he lives in an apartment at college. Our 18 year old daughter has also taught Sunday school, led retreats, and is studying to be a teacher. She got the appropriate love she needed as a young child and in these days of scary teen behavior, she and her steady boyfriend go on “double dates” with her grandparents. Our baby is 13- he is the one taking my arm as I step over a curb (really, 49 is not that old!), folding tables and chairs at church events without being asked and being philosophical when his soccer team loses a game. Although we all enjoy our own activities, we also have a close, intact family. The older two text home just to say I love you. Here’s the moral – you can’t give your kids too much love. And when they get appropriate love from their parents at a young age, they don’t look for inappropriate love from their peers when they are older.
· Third, I want to thank you for your research and references which will be a great help to me. Although I don’t think she is specifically using the Ezzo’s system, I know a young mom whose insistence on strict scheduling and “crying it out” with her youngest I believe are causing health problems with the baby and stress on her marriage, not to mention misery for herself. Positive things to read may turn the tide for her.