Learning to Trust my Instincts

I'm a mom of 5, including a pair of twins. We took the Prep for Parenting class while pregnant with my oldest. I knew absolutely nothing about kids or babies, so I believed everything they told me--except I had a nagging uneasiness in the back of my mind because I felt they misused the Bible.

I did not enjoy my first daughter's babyhood. I was miserable when she was crying alone in her room, yet felt that she would be 'spoiled' if I went in to her, and she would never learn to go to sleep on her own. My motherly instincts (which the Ezzos said I didn't have) tried to tell me what to do, but I wouldn't listen.

Well, with #2, I didn't try to follow the schedule so much--I was so tired I would actually fall asleep nursing, and wake up later with baby sleeping peacefully at my side (horror of horrors!) I felt so guilty at first, but that faded away.

With #3, Ezzo was completely out and baby slept with me till she was over a year old!

#4 and 5 are twins who I exclusively nursed--no bottles--and there's no way that could have been done on an Ezzo type schedule.

The irony is all of my kids go to sleep easily EXCEPT for child #1 who always slept in her own crib and cried to sleep every night and naptime. She is currently 8 years old, often has bags under her eyes, and often comes out at 11, 12, 1am or later, saying she can't sleep and is feeling lonely! I wish that I had trusted my non-existent maternal instincts and never listened to Mr. Ezzo!

Here's a precious moment that would never happen to an Ezzo mom: I was nursing the twins to sleep when they were around 10 months old. One fell asleep, and I eased her off my lap onto the bed. The other finished but wasn't sleepy yet, so she rolled over an gave me a cute, happy grin, and grabbed my finger. We played coo, and giggle, and peekaboo for 3 or 4 minutes; then she yawned, snuggled up against me and fell asleep--secure, happy, and feeling loved. I don't want bedtime to be a time of tears and loneliness in my family.

by S. J.
submitted 2/12/04

Stories of Former Users and Supporters

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  • Failed Babywiser - Russian Version +

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  • More Stories from around the Web +

    7/20/1997 Link to post "...the church's youth pastor invited me into his office and told me about the Ezzo's programs and how important they were to effective Christian and biblical parenting. ...I took the book right home and read it straight through. I immediately felt immensly guilty that I had been demand-feeding my baby and sat down to scratch out a schedule for him. But even as I was doing it I had a very uneasy feeling in my gut, so I prayed and asked God for wisdom regarding accepting…
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  • Babywise Stole Precious Weeks +

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  • Ezzo Lived in My Brain +

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  • Young, Naive, Pregnant with First Child +

    The year was 2008. A young, naive woman is pregnant with her first child. She is unsure, lacks confidence and wants to be certain she does the best job for her unborn child. Yet there are a great deal of books, resources and information - which ones to start with? Which ones to trust? So she turns to older, more experienced mothers who all but thrust this book into her hands and begin making the promises.
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  • A note of appreciation from an older parent +

    Let me start by saying that 14 or 15 years ago, I was in the unhappy position of having to do everything in my power to force two sets of new parents to drive their babies to the emergency room because, after following the Ezzo’s advice, these babies were severely dehydrated and lethargic.  The parents were not bad parents.  In fact, they were trying really hard to be good parents, according to guidelines which had been sanctioned by their church.  The fact that both contacted me for a home visit,…
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  • Confessions of a Former Babywise Advocate +

    This story comes via the blog "Banned from Baby Showers".   The blog owner shares a mother's account of how she used Babywise successfully -- as far as she knew -- until her baby was 7 months old, and then her milk supply began to peter out.  Confessions of a Former Babywise Advocate
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  • A Forgiven Mama +

    Our first child was born in the summer of 09, and I promptly began trying to apply the Babywise method. The book had been highly recommended by a distant relative, and promised structure and sanity amidst the exhaustion and upheaval I felt as a new mother. However, our baby did not respond the way the book promised he would if we followed the schedule. All my attempts to adhere to the book led to deep frustration, arguments with my husband (who knew better than to let a book dictate our newborn's schedule), feeling like a…
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