More Stories from around the Web

7/20/1997
Link to post
"
...the church's youth pastor invited me into his office and told me about the Ezzo's programs and how important they were to effective Christian and biblical parenting. ...I took the book right home and read it straight through. I immediately felt immensly guilty that I had been demand-feeding my baby and sat down to scratch out a schedule for him. But even as I was doing it I had a very uneasy feeling in my gut, so I prayed and asked God for wisdom regarding accepting the Ezzo's pricipals. Tho' I did try to start my 3 month old on a schedule, I never did feel "right" about it, but again was so convinced my the Ezzo's that I was being a ungodly parent, that I kept working at it. After a week of scheduling tho', and turning my infant into a whinny and crying baby, I gave it up, and luckily found this website, which has made me feel so much better about the way I was parenting right from the beginning. Anyway, just wanted to say thanks for being here and taking the time to share your opinions and research!"

 

[the next three posts were written by a mother who initially endorsed Babywise. When her baby developed feeding problems, her view changed.]

10/21/1998
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"it is evident to me....that you have never met a mother that has raised her infant under this method with some common sense. We will always have wackos out there that will read this or any other book and take it too literally. ...

"... I fed my baby every 2 1/2 to 3 hours when he was small. I would not say that I was neglecting him in the slightest. However, I did not stick a bottle or breast in his mouth everytime he started crying..."

2/17/1999
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My son is now 15 months old. We used BabyWise for the first 6-9 months of his life. During that time we were also dealing with reflux but were told by our Ezzoite friends to stay with the method because it was for his own good. He would be on a good schedule and his metabolism would be straightened out. BLAH BLAH BLAH ...My son now almost completely refuses to eat. The nutritionist that we have seen seems to think it is coming from the fact that I had him on such a rigurous (sorry my spelling is awful) schedule as an infant. Take that schedule and the fact that he had reflux and it was disaster in the making. I never listened to his cues - I fed him when the *BOOK* told me to.

2/20/1999
(Same thread as above)
Someone commented that she should not blame this outcome on Babywise, and she replies:
BabyWise says to get him on a schedule and that it will actually help colicly and reflux babies to do so. We did. He would cry when we would try to get him to eat but because we had read this and were being supported by other Ezzo parents we felt it was the right thing to do.

At nine months the reflux ended but his fear of eating did not. Now, like I said before he is competely scared that we are going to make him eat when he doesn't want to. Sometimes I will put the food in front of him and get out of his sight and he will eat better.

I don't blame BabyWise for all of this. I should have known better. [This child] is not my first child and I have never had problems like this before. I should have known not to put him on a schedule and [I should have decided] to demand feed him just as soon as he started showing signs of being distressed. But I was trying to raise him "God's" way.

Am I mad at the Ezzos for putting out this book. YES I AM!!! I am also mad at myself for reading it

 

02-07-2005

As a first time mom, I found him to be very helpful but I found myself not following his book to the letter because it became too difficult. I never once noticed the theology back then. I did not follow Baby Wise for my other 2 kids because I just did what seemed right for them and every baby is so different.

 


[this mother is/was a Babywise user at the time of writing, sharing publicly.]

"Today she is 4 weeks old. ...This baby is on a 3 hour routine and takes full feedings starting at 7 a.m. ... after her 1:00 feeding, I'll lay her down around 2:00. She will fuss and gradually build up to an all out f16 bomber plane. She will settle herself down a few times and possibly even doze for just 5 minutes before the awful crying starts again. She will cry striaght through to her next feeding..... It's been 1 hour and 40 mintues of crying now with this nap and it's almost time to get her up and feed her w/o sleeping. WHAT can I do? Our feeding routine is about the only thing that's going well..... I have a stubborn baby"

 

5-28-2004
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"When we were expecting our first child, we were encouraged by testimonials from several friends -- intelligent, devoted Christians all -- to make use of the Ezzo approach to infant feeding and discipline. Without getting into details, I regret that we followed their advice, and I would warn parents away from it. It is overly rigid, and encourages an adversarial relationship between parents and children. While Ezzo is right to encourage firmness, he discourages natural parental tenderness."

 

02-07-2005
"I went to a Ezzo class at a local church when my oldest was a baby and I am embarresed to say that I tried his methods without much success. The group became very 'cult like' which apparently is very common with Ezzo groups and very uncomfortable."

 

Feb 25, 2004
Link to posting
"We were determined with my first child that we were going to do Babywise and GKGW right down to the letter. I tend to takes things all or nothing. We were in Bible School at the time and it was the "only way to parent" and the peer-pressure was HIGH. It was very exasperating for me. It sounds so ideal when you are reading the book before you have any children. Our daughter turned out to cry 8-9 hours a day non-stop (we did not know right away that she was allergic to the citrus and dairy in my diet). I was pressured by all around me (because of Ezzo) to let her cry for 8 hours straight if I had to and not to pick her up (I was told that my 3 week old child was "spoiled"). I was forced to work against my motherly instinct. It was one of the worst experiences of my life. I would never recommend the program to anyone. If you are great at taking a few ideas from a resource and moving on with your life then reading it could have some advantages."

 

[This mother descwas so susceptible to following ... because I was so selfish in my own NEEDS as a person, I NEEDED my sleep, I NEEDED my own schedule and BREAK from my life as a mom -I thought. I only wanted to give a little bit and I made her give the rest of the way to accomodate me. I am so thankful that age, more children and mothering in general has helped to enjoy the process of giving of myself and enjoying the ride, even the 2 am ride."

 

[Finding her way to the heart of motherhood]

July 13, 2004
Link to posting
"If my firstborn cried at night, we would time it, and every 15 minutes, one of us (usually me) would go in to comfort him, but for no more than 2 min. at a time. We eventually took this down to 10 minutes... I didn't know it at the time, because he was my first, but he was just a really high-maintenace baby. I thought I was doing everything wrong, too, because my ds wasn't doing so cheerfully wonderfully as the book said. BUT, he did sleep through the night @ 7 wks. With each of my other two, I just followed the basic schedule of eat-play-sleep, but was progressively more lax ~ on purpose. The younger 2 boys still slept through the night soon ~ at 8 weeks and 9 weeks. I was so afraid though, that I was going to start some horrible, irreversible pattern of them needing to be rocked to sleep, held in the middle of the night, etc., that I didn't rely enough on my own instincts to lighten up a bit. My 2nd was about 15 months before I decided to rock and sing to him at night before bedtime. That was one of the best parenting decisions I ever made, and one of the most lovely memories I have w/ him being a baby.

That lasted about 9 months, until the 3rd was born. With my third, I remember feeling the joy and relief of "allowing" myself to let him fall asleep in my arms on the couch after nursing him at night, and me dozing off, too... We didn't do this every night, but it's something I'd not done at all w/ my younger two....Some of what Ezzo says is really useful, but I think he misses the heart of motherhood"

 

[A mother in Southern California]

August 31, 2000
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"I was sucked in by the promise of a good night's sleep and followed the advice of Babywise (minus the 'letting him cry himself to sleep' advice, for the most part) for the first few weeks and regret it! My son is quite large for his age (before he was six months, he was wearing twelve-month clothes), so he didn't go hungry, but he did have colic, and the Ezzo advice made me doubt my maternal instincts, which made a difficult situation almost unbearable! Once I realized that the advice was ridiculous, and did what came naturally, things got much easier...."

 

[From a physician/mother in Georgia]

May 27, 2004

Link to posting
"I am no longer going to be recommending the book.... My other kids weaned by 7 months because of supply issues, and maybe they would have nursed longer if I had done things a little differently...."

 

November 22, 2002
This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it.&oe=UTF-8&output=gplain">Link to posting
"My baby's temperament was not at all suitable for the methods in Babywise. My wiring as a mother also did not allow me to parent that way. But that is what I know *now*. Just like Ruth's post, during those stressful times (around weeks 2-3) when all the help had gone home, my husband had returned to work, and the baby was going through a growth spurt (which I didn't recognize) I kept referring to that book and a couple others and just felt more and more inadequate as a parent."

 

Aug 14, 2003
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"I used babywise with my first 2 children. And yes it "worked" both babies slept through at 3 weeks. But I hated the way I felt. ...With my 1st baby I only nursed for 4 months due to milk drying up from feeding on a 3 hrs [feeding routine]. And with #2 milk didn't come in because of the 3hr thing it just wasn't enough suckling time. So with baby #3 I so badly wanted bfing to work out I decided to nurse on demand and it just feels so right."

 

5/27/00
Link to posting
"We took the Growing Kids God's Way class last year and it seemed to cause more intense power struggles than help. We felt we had to do anything and everything to get 1st time obedience based on the this program. I think we almost became more authoritarian although the program says they don't believe in t hat style of parenting. When we told people we had gone to a Christian Counselor who specializes in children and were trying some of the techniques she suggested, we were told we were "lowering" the standard by using other techniques."

 

[On using Babywise with a subsequent baby]

11/10/2000
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"She cried almost nonstop, i didn't know what we'd do, as i had the view we'd do the schedule as long as it worked, but i wasn't going to let my babies lay and cry, etc. and it seemed that was her nature! Well, i tried doing the schedule w/her. didn't work. Oh,yes, she slept thru the night sooner than baby #1, but she didn't want to nap for the "right' amount of time. I tried to make her conform to the schedule, and wound up stressing
myself out
. Soo, we chucked it....Now when i meet an ezzo mom, i get a sick feeling in the pit of my stomach. His material is set up to play on parents fears, fears that if they don't do this or that exactly this or that way, their kid will be screwed up for life. He appeals to peoples sense of pride. WHY is it so important for people to compliment you because your baby sleeps thru the night? Or because of anything they do?!PRIDE is a sin!! Now,,luckily, w/baby#1,he suffered no ill effects,,had good weight gain, is a happy loveable kid. But i still ache inside that i barely rocked him. Because i was afraid if i rocked him to sleep, ,that would make him into some unmanageble kid,or something like that. I'll save the GKGW gripes for another e'mail."

 

[A foster parent tells about the Ezzo'd children she cared for]

12/31/01
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"Thought I'd update on the foster kids I posted about here a few months back, since I saw them over Christmas. There were four boys three and under (3, 2 year old twins, and a four month old), the four-month-old was severe failure to thrive, the twins had developmental delays, and the 3-year-old had major behavior problems (he had regressed after the baby was born, she had fought not to give in, and he had developed major behavior issues far beyond the typical 3-year-old issues). She was offered parenting classes in the home, but kept falling back into the Ezzo parenting style, and when she was charged with medical neglect the children were removed. She completed a course on proper parenting, with an emphasis on attachment-style parenting, and she is now at a happy medium. All four boys appear to be healthy, happy, and developing well. Quite the change from the boys I saw six months ago!"

A second post
from the foster mother offers a little more background:
"These children were removed because of the failure to thrive with the infant and the charges of medical neglect, due to the two-year-old's having a large gash on his head that went untreated. Mother felt she was allowing the child to manipulate her, or something of the sort, not directly related to Ezzo teachings, but an Ezzo mindset. We provided foster care for about six weeks, but didn't have room for them so they were split between relatives until social services decided they could be reunited."

 

5/25/2004
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A mother of 4 says:
"I have been much more laid back with my 4th baby and don't mind, in fact love it, when he falls asleep while I nurse him. Although he doesn't always do this, but he will go to sleep on his own too. He's 7 months now. I scheduled my first two boys with Ezzo. I had little problems with my first born, however lost my milk supply with ds2 and he was failure to thrive from 2-5 months. He just needed to eat more than 3 hours and I still was an inexperienced mom to see the signs. I had tons of guilt over this."

 

3/3/2005
A father (who liked the class overall) says:
"I jokingly called it "Growing Kids Gary's Way" since he did seem a bit overly confident about the program."

 

4/30/2005
A pastor says:
"Ezzo had the same effect on our people as Gothard did. It was now "What does Gary say?" about all child-rearing stuff."

 

5/12/2005
Another pastor agrees:
"When I unleashed GKGW on our church in Florida, we got our own set of "zombies" as well. I have found that by not using/mentioning the videos or other resources, I can teach the material in a small group setting without getting the Ezzo-worship."

 

5/15/2005
Another pastor thinks his church's GKGW classes have been positive but says this:"I agree with your comments on the Prep for Parenting. Our ministry thinks it is way too structured. We don't use it."

 

7/18/2005
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A blogger in Canada:
"I realize that many people have followed Gary Ezzo's methods for child rearing (and it is Growing Kids Ezzo's Way, not God's way, make no mistake) and have found success. We did not.

...at the end of our experience with Ezzo parenting material, we had a rather adversarial relationship with our children. As we have learned to be more gracious and merciful with them, things have improved.

 

1/12/04
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"Our pastor actually stopped his sermon one Sunday and addressed the division in the church over GKGW.... he didn't say everything I wanted him to say, but I was happy he took that initiative. He basically did a "gloss over" "It doesn't matter which side you are on, we all need to support each other's parenting choices".

 

5/04/04
Link to post
"
Having taught the course myself several years ago I can NOT recommend the course at all! I have extended experience with the community that it creates. There are MUCH better materials out there to persue."

 

7/20/05
A mother's comment on a blog post:
I was one that took "the class" with other couples. When we started to have our doubts, we were terrified to admit it to anyone in the group. We knew they would be dissapointed, and assume we weren't trying hard enough (when, in fact, we realized that we had some serious issues with GKGW).

 

8/31/2004
Second time mother changes her mind

I came to this board a couple weeks ago to try to defend Babywise, but after reading many of the posts, doing some research on my own, and trying to implement some of the BW strategies with my newborn, I'm beginning to change my mind. BW just isn't working! It worked beautifully with my 1st baby, but I was soon to find out that not all babies are alike. My 2nd baby is fussier, he loves to be held, and he needs food more often. I think I was so programmed by Ezzo and BW that I was afraid to hold my baby. He needs to be held to go to sleep and I felt guilty for doing so. I felt like a bad mother for holding him - now that just doesn't make sense, does it! I've put away my Babywise book, and I'm just going with my common sense and my mother's heart. I just want to enjoy my baby!

Left to Cry

A moving testimony of how an orphaned mother learned to accept the truth God's promise, "I will never leave you or forsake you" and to model its truth in the way she cared for her babies.

"After eight weeks I achieved the highly acclaimed goal of getting my baby to sleep through the night. I was physically and emotionally strung out despite the assurances that this practice would allow me to get the rest I needed. I was deceived....

...Our third child, Raymond Albert, was born in July 1998. This time I made myself available to baby Ray whenever he needed me. He slept with me, pacified at my breast, ate when he was hungry and he never knew what it was to lay alone in his crib and cry for a mommy who wouldn't come.

Ray is a year old now and we are doing great! The story does not end here. On New Year's Day, 1999 the Lord very gently revealed that just as my birth parents had abandoned me, I had abandoned my firstborn in those early weeks of his life. His sobs were not "signs of giving up", but cries of deep despair and like my birth parents, I did not come for him...."

May 6, 2008

What Did Not Work for Me: Ezzo Parenting

It laid a lot of guilt on me, as a young mom who couldn't let my infant cry for a long period of time. Yes, I watched the "Preparation For Parenting video", I read their book, I tried to follow it, but in the end my mother instinct told me to nurture my child and not be stressed out by wanting to follow what the Ezzo is teaching.

Stories of Former Users and Supporters

  • On Becoming Wise to Ezzo's Information +

    Ezzo's book, Babywise, was suggested to me through some really great friends at church.  They had a picture perfect daughter who napped well, seemed to go with the flow, and seemed pretty independent.  I praised my friends for such great parenting and they told me to read this book and apply it as soon as possible. When we were pregnant, we read this book over and over.  I was thrilled my husband agreed to go through with this type of parenting.
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  • Follow Jesus, Not Methods +

    I read Babywise while pregnant with my first son.  At that time, I was a proud, over-achieving, controlling, perfectionist of a mother who was thrilled that I had stumbled upon the "perfect" and "godly" parenting method.  I felt that by having control over my baby's schedule, I was setting them up for a solid relationship with Jesus Christ because they would naturally bow to authority. Everything went according to plan with my son.  He was on the schedule and sleeping through the night at nine weeks.  I glowed beneath the
    Read More
  • Our un-Wise Baby Experience +

    Encouragement for Christian Parents Before having our first baby, I thought I had the whole ‘rearing children’ thing sorted.  I had watched my older siblings raise their children, done plenty of babysitting, and even helped mothers with post natal depression for a while.  I thought fussy babies were created by fussy mothers, and was convinced I would have an easy child who would sleep through the night by the six weeks.  I certainly wouldn’t be one of ‘those’ mothers still getting up during the night for their six month old!
    Read More
  • Naïve Young Parents in Chicago +

    My husband and I were newlyweds in the Chicago area, and about to have our first child. We wanted to learn more about parenting from a Christian perspective so we went to a GFI parenting class at church where we could get together with new parents-to-be. My frustration is that it seems the Ezzos never took into consideration the moms who suffer from PPD. My depression was pretty debilitating and when my son wasn't "following the program" so to speak, it created a lot of additional stress.
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  • Failure to Thrive +

    I was given Babywise (the 2001 edition) and being an uninformed, naive mother the book's goal sounded good to me. I was so thrilled when my daughter suddenly started sleeping 8-10, even 12 hours overnight! She never cried herself to sleep so I really thought everything was okay. She was responding just as the book had said she would. I had, by Ezzo's description, the "perfect" child: the one who easily fell into her feeding schedule and who was sleeping 10+ hours at night. It was picture perfect. She just
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  • Nourishing and Nurturing +

    I am a first time mom. My son is now 6 months old. Before he was born, I was referred to the Babywise books by Ezzo. I thought, "Wow, what a practical and perfectly logical way to manage feedings." So, I tried it. When my baby was 2 weeks old, I began the Babywise recommended feeding routine. It seemed to be working great. He was really rarely fussy. He was just a happy baby. But at around 3 months of age he was beginning to get a little fussier. I
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  • Baby Loves Routine +

    Before my son was born I really hadn't given much thought as to "how" to feed a baby; I knew that I wanted to breastfeed and all of the mainstream parenting books I had read made it seem so easy. I figured it would be as easy as Baby Cries, Baby Latches On, Baby Eats. I was in for a rude awakening once he was born. I had a very hard time getting the hang of breastfeeding, and had very little support. I only had one friend who breastfed, and
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  • Read the Baby, Not the Book +

    I'm thankful my Babywise experience was a short one. At the recommendation of friends, I was planning to use the Babywise method to get my baby on a schedule right away. It was especially attractive to me since I was recovering from a c-section and desperate for sleep and structure. I had a fairly long hospital stay because of the surgery, and it was a rough time both for me and for the baby. At first, it was easy to get him to eat or sleep when I wanted him
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  • Pediatric Nurse and ex-Ezzo Parent +

    My husband and I faithfully read this book and the full Growing Kids God's Way curriculum. We were excited to be presented with seemingly sound advice and felt prepared to face every part of parenting. We followed the advice on feeding and sleep schedules very closely, until my 5 week old son began failing to gain weight. Fortunately I am a pediatric nurse and noticed the early signs before his health was severely affected. I visited a lactation consultant and learned that my milk supply was almost gone (pumping only
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  • Our Journey to Freedom +

    I was only ten weeks pregnant when my husband and I signed up to take Prep for Parenting [now called "Along the Infant Way" and also known as Babywise in its secular form] at a reputable church. Family members and friends recommended the course. We wanted to be the best parents we could possibly be for our first child. My husband didn't really want to take the classes, not due to lack of interest in fatherhood, but rather, he thought the idea of taking a class to prepare you for
    Read More
  • GKGW Myths and Misconceptions +

    A former GFI Contact Mom and pastor's wife speaks from the heart I would first like to dispel some of the myths about people who speak out against Growing Kids God's Way. Myth: People who don't like GKGW have never read or used GKGW. I was a contact mom for 2 years, and not only followed the materials myself but counseled hundreds of other moms in their use. In fact, there are still ideas contained in GKGW (ideas which can also be found elsewhere) that I use today. Myth: People
    Read More
  • Just in Time +

    My son is 11 months old and is healthy and happy and still nursing like a pro. If I were still schedule feeding him, I think he would be formula fed, sad and distant. I read Baby Whisperer and Babywise before J. was born, but I didn't really come to any decision on whether to put him on a schedule or not. I knew that the AAP, the health unit and my doctor advocated feeding on demand, but the scheduling seemed to make more sense. I mean, after all, who
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  • A Pastor's Wife's Experience and Observations +

    When my first baby was about 6 weeks old I was exhausted and overwhelmed. I had no friends with babies and my family lived 5 hours away.  I was very isolated. I didn't know what was normal and what wasn't.  I got most of my support from my mom which was great except she never breastfed a baby.  I was very committed to breastfeeding for financial reasons: my husband was a pastor and we were on a very strict budget. Formula just wasn't an option. A young mother in my
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  • Frazzled and Uptight No More +

    I was totally convinced that Ezzo was the way to go. In fact, before my daughter was born, nobody could convince me that Ezzo was bad. I was very determined to have a "good" kid. However, I was an extremely uptight, frazzled Babywiser. I was always aware of what time it was, when the last feeding was, when the next one was due. I had a huge notebook and I took tons of notes, trying to figure out what worked to minimize the crying.
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  • Learning to Trust my Instincts +

    I'm a mom of 5, including a pair of twins. We took the Prep for Parenting class while pregnant with my oldest. I knew absolutely nothing about kids or babies, so I believed everything they told me--except I had a nagging uneasiness in the back of my mind because I felt they misused the Bible. I did not enjoy my first daughter's babyhood. I was miserable when she was crying alone in her room, yet felt that she would be 'spoiled' if I went in to her, and she would
    Read More
  • It's One or the Other +

    [and other Babywise myths that hooked us.] "Of COURSE you can rock your baby to sleep! Just don't make it a habit." Before I had my baby, this actually made sense. After I had her, I remember thinking: "How much is a habit? I did it once yesterday ... can I do it again today? What if I did it twice in one day?" Not to mention that if a newborn baby is crying and you comfort it by rocking or nursing, it will almost surely fall asleep. So, basically, "Don't
    Read More
  • Mothering with Babywise: My Secret Pain +

    It started innocently enough. I was visiting a friend who recently gave birth to a baby girl. Sitting on her couch, sipping tea, I asked her, "So…how often do you feed your daughter?" It was then that I was introduced to the principles of Babywise. Being pregnant myself for the first time, I was intrigued. A couple of days later, I bought the book. I read it within days, and knew it was for me. Being an organized person, I feared chaos in my home once a baby was born.
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  • From Babywise to Enjoying my Baby +

    From hearing my friends talk, I thought Babywise was the only way to raise your baby, so there was no question that I would use it too. I read the book before my daughter was born and re-read it again after she was born. I felt like I had to really work hard to get her on a schedule or she would be a brat and never sleep through the night. So, the first week I immediately tried getting her on a three hour schedule. I always felt guilty when
    Read More
  • Less Stressed Without Babywise +

    I would have said that we were happy following Ezzo, but I can honestly say that we are much happier now. I am so much less stressed out! I didn't realize how much stress Babywising put on me until I quit. So many people had told me how wonderful a program Babywise was to get babies to sleep through the night and get order into your day. I think that was a large part of the appeal, not so much the sleeping through the night, but the orderly day. I
    Read More
  • 10 Years of GKGW +

    I want to share our story in the hope that it may perhaps help to warn others who are heading down the Growing Kids God's Way path. We still ask ourselves, how could we have been deceived for so long? In 1992, dear friends of ours, who had found Preparation For Parenting [PFP] the previous year, recommended Growing Kids God's Way [GKGW] to my husband and me. Our eldest son was 2 ½ years old. We had come from a cue feeding/attachment parenting background, but we were very young, immature Christians,
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  • Deep Regrets, New Mercies +

    Our family was involved with Gary Ezzo’s teachings from the winter of 1991 when I was pregnant with our first child until almost two years ago. When we were first exposed to his teachings, I was only two years out of university where I had completed a broad social sciences degree. If you had asked me about infant feeding routines I would have said they were NOT the way to go - that is, before I listened to the Preparation for Parenting tapes with my husband and another couple we were
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  • Relaxing into a Routine +

    More and more since we've distanced ourselves from the GFI materials, I realize how deeply influenced we were. I didn't have some of the discipline or milk supply problems that I've heard about, but we've had other problems--mainly a deep misunderstanding of what is child-appropriate behavior, and consequently, we stressed out over things that we never should have been upset about (from the infant stage to now at the primary aged child). I've had to re-learn how to relax about certain things, and create an atmosphere of trust and understanding
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  • If I Could Turn Back the Clock +

    I would give anything in the world to be able to turn back the clock and learn about the concerns and controversy surrounding Ezzo's methods before my dear daughter was born. I was not aware of any of the problems with his teachings; I had only heard positive things about his books and knew friends who were using or had used his books when I started following Babywise with my own daughter (when she was about 2 weeks old). I am a very by-the-book, black-and-white type person. I'm also a
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  • Coping with Attachment Disorder +

    We were introduced to Ezzo materials in 1995 through our church group of young adults. By the time we were pregnant (Sept 95) many families had been through the course. Everyone kept telling us how we HAD to do the program--it's the best, it works, it's incredible, you won't be sorry, you'll feel so much better about being a parent. The positive statements never ended. We took it early in 96, and finished a few weeks before I was due. My son was born, and had a very traumatic birth.
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  • The "Y" Family's Experience +

    In writing this testimony, we have seen arguments that people who fail with Ezzo's materials are unintelligent or inconsistent with the materials. My husband and I are well-educated people. My husband graduated from Emory University and had an additional four years of graduate school (total of eight years of education) to become a doctor of optometry. I have a degree in special education and had a few years of teaching experience under my belt when we encountered the Ezzo's materials. We are also Christians, wholly devoted to Christ and rearing
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  • The "H" Family's Experience +

    An In-depth Case History My husband and I were introduced to the Growing Kids God's Way (GKGW) programs through a pastor friend after we discovered we were expecting our first child, and our son was one month old when we began using Preparation for Parenting. This was the first book we had ever read about baby care that seemed to come from a decidedly Christian perspective, with scripture all over the place, and it pointed out that basically all the typical feeding, baby care, and parenting information being taught today
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  • Open Letter about Failure to Thrive +

    The purpose of this letter is to generate public awareness about yet another child who has surely suffered due to following a Christian parenting program entitled Preparation for Parent-ing/Preparation for the Toddler Years (secular versions marketed in stores as On Becoming BabyWise 1 & 2) by Gary and Anne Marie Ezzo . We hope that knowledge of his case can be used to promote existing and future efforts to inform communities of the extremely serious dangers associated with following the Ezzos' program, even in its newest editions [1998 at the time
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  • Confessions of a Failed Babywiser +

    This essay is written both as catharsis and restitution. I regret that I encouraged many parents to use the Ezzo materials and feel compelled to warn against it. I also want to share how level-headed parents can be allured by this program. There are many other resources online that outline the medical, Biblical and character problems associated with Gary Ezzo and his parenting programs. With this, I hope to offer a personal view of how these materials can negatively effect a family. I cradled my six month old son in
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  • Failed Babywiser - Russian Version +

    Confessions of a Failed Babywiser - Russian Translation
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  • An Ex-Contact Mom Speaks Out +

    While I was a contact mom for GFI (for a year and a half), I never once met a mom who breastfed long-term (at least a year or longer) without modifying the materials. I did see babies who appeared listless and in a depressed state, who were smaller than average or scrawny. I met scores of moms who struggled with milk supply to a point that it completely removed the enjoyment of nursing their babies. I met babies who went one or two months without gaining any weight at all
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  • Thoughts from a Former Contact Mom +

    I used Ezzo stuff because it really fit my personality. I'm very structured and don't handle lots of chaos very well. I started with Preparation for Parenting when my youngest was a newborn. He is 12-1/2 now. My other kids are 11, 8, 5, and 7 months. I was also a "contact mom" for GFI for several years. We used Preparation for the Toddler Years (back before it was even an "official" program), and GKGW, also. We read through Reflections of Moral Innocence and ended up not using that. Having
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  • Former GFI Leadership Couple, Eric and Julie Abel +

    The Abels helped found GFI and were featured on GKGW curriculum video tapes resigned over ethical concerns. Here they share their thoughts on how some aspects of the GKGW principles were detrimental to their family.   This is the Internet archive of that FAQ
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  • A Group of Case Studies +

    This group of case histories was compiled by Laurie Moody, an ex-contact mom with GFI. Unlike most contact moms, this one was a certified lactation counselor. http://www.angelfire.com/md2/moodyfamily/casestudies.html
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  • More Stories from around the Web +

    7/20/1997 Link to post "...the church's youth pastor invited me into his office and told me about the Ezzo's programs and how important they were to effective Christian and biblical parenting. ...I took the book right home and read it straight through. I immediately felt immensly guilty that I had been demand-feeding my baby and sat down to scratch out a schedule for him. But even as I was doing it I had a very uneasy feeling in my gut, so I prayed and asked God for wisdom regarding accepting
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  • Babywise Stole Precious Weeks +

    BabyWise stole many precious weeks from me in the beginning of my son's life. I wish I could have just loved on him without all the fear that Ezzo put into me about creating a spoiled baby. When I found out I was pregnant with my son, I sought the advice out of women that I knew and respected who had children. My own mom died when I was 19, and I felt truly lost as I searched for the "right" way to be a mom. One of the friends
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  • Ezzo Lived in My Brain +

    I heard a lot about how awesome GKGW and Babywise are so naturally I bought Babywise when I was pregnant with my first. But my baby was teeny (6.5) and jaundiced, so the lactation consultant adamantly emphasized feeding on cue and even suggested co-sleeping.  My husband brought her in our bedroom the first night home from the hospital and said, "we can't just put her away". He can't stand to hear a baby cry. We did not end up actively using Babywise.  Even so, having read the book, Ezzo lived
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  • Young, Naive, Pregnant with First Child +

    The year was 2008. A young, naive woman is pregnant with her first child. She is unsure, lacks confidence and wants to be certain she does the best job for her unborn child. Yet there are a great deal of books, resources and information - which ones to start with? Which ones to trust? So she turns to older, more experienced mothers who all but thrust this book into her hands and begin making the promises.
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  • A note of appreciation from an older parent +

    Let me start by saying that 14 or 15 years ago, I was in the unhappy position of having to do everything in my power to force two sets of new parents to drive their babies to the emergency room because, after following the Ezzo’s advice, these babies were severely dehydrated and lethargic.  The parents were not bad parents.  In fact, they were trying really hard to be good parents, according to guidelines which had been sanctioned by their church.  The fact that both contacted me for a home visit,
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  • Confessions of a Former Babywise Advocate +

    This story comes via the blog "Banned from Baby Showers".   The blog owner shares a mother's account of how she used Babywise successfully -- as far as she knew -- until her baby was 7 months old, and then her milk supply began to peter out.  Confessions of a Former Babywise Advocate
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  • A Forgiven Mama +

    Our first child was born in the summer of 09, and I promptly began trying to apply the Babywise method. The book had been highly recommended by a distant relative, and promised structure and sanity amidst the exhaustion and upheaval I felt as a new mother. However, our baby did not respond the way the book promised he would if we followed the schedule. All my attempts to adhere to the book led to deep frustration, arguments with my husband (who knew better than to let a book dictate our newborn's schedule), feeling like a
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