Blogs of Experience...

• I have a lot to process
  ...about my own experience with BW and how it hindered my [2011] baby girl's growth.... I do recall saying the words "I know she's hungry, but she has to wait 30 minutes to eat." Gah, makes me teary just thinking about it... I'm choosing to blame it on my severely sleep-deprived self. The fact that my daughter wasn't putting on enough weight for the first 6 weeks of her life - yeah, I think it's linked to this issue. The contradictory "feed... no don't feed... no only on your schedule... no really, we're all about the babies" made this new mama a wreck.
• I read this book before I had my baby.
  It totally gave me a false sense of how things "should be" when I had the baby. I didn't agree with everything I had read (i.e. no rocking to sleep, no pacifier for sleeping, etc.) but I believed I would implement some of the theories with my son when he arrived. So when he did arrive, I had certain expecations for him. I thought he should be sleeping longer at night, going longer between feedings, etc. I QUICKLY learned otherwise. Don't get me wrong, I fed him if he was hungry; I never forced him to wait until a certain 3-4 hour marker. BUT when my son was not "following" these certain methods I had read about, I was left feeling frustrated and confused....I believe if I had continued to implement some of the BabyWise methods, not only would I not have done what is best for my child, but I would have missed so many of my sweetest moments and memories with him...like rocking him to sleep, nursing him to sleep, soothing him when he needs soothing, etc. They're not robots and are not going to function like robots...they're human beings and they are just like we are...sometimes it's harder for them to fall asleep and sometimes they need help. Sometimes they need to be soothed and sometimes they are just fine on their own. Raising a child is not a science, it's an ART.
• babywise
  the book that made me feel incredibly guilty and sent me into post-partum depression....Tim and I both read it and felt like it was the way we had to parent, in order to be good Christian parents with godly kids. So when I absolutely hated it and every instinct within my body and heart and mind screamed at me to just cuddle with and comfort my baby when he cried (no matter what point in the “schedule” we were at), I felt like a bad mom and a failure....I have amazing, happy, pretty much well-behaved kids that always sleep through the night and have not been raised by babywise parenting...I am SO GLAD I threw the book away.
• What Did Not Work for Me: Ezzo Parenting
  It laid a lot of guilt on me, as a young mom who couldn't let my infant cry for a long period of time. Yes, I watched the "Preparation For Parenting video", I read their book, I tried to follow it, but in the end my mother instinct told me to nurture my child and not be stressed out by wanting to follow what the Ezzo is teaching.
• Commented on What Did Not Work for Me
  This book basically put me under an already performance-laden mountain of guilt and nearly crippled me when I tried and failed their method with our second child who was having none of their method of scheduling. Great to get the word out before other mommies are confused and guilt-ridden by "God's Way". God's way is found in His Word, not Gary Ezzo's books.
• Unsolicited Book Review
  [Our pediatrician] bless his heart, disagreed with everything the book had told us. Telling us that Chase is too young, still adjusting to life outside the womb, and still confused and overwhelmed by his surroundings for us to expect him to get himself to sleep, let alone to expect him to do it on a schedule. Some babies may be able to do it, but some just aren't....Last night, when I tried to follow some of the BabyWise advice, I ended up with a very upset little baby who refused to go back to sleep. If I'd just followed my own instincts, he would have gone back to sleep right away. It's only been two and a half months, but I do feel like I know the little guy, at least better than Ezzo and Bucknam.
• Current Babywise Thoughts
  I found myself constantly in tears, fearful that I would "ruin him" by taking him off of the schedule, frustrated and angry that he wasn't napping like the book said he should, tired by all his cries (because he wasn't "supposed" to be crying), not knowing what he needed and feeling trapped about feeding him when I wasn't even sure if he was hungry...[and I was battling the thought] that his spiritual training started right now, so if I didn't have my act together at every moment of every day, he would be disobedient and whiny when he was 5, rebellious as a teenager, and walking away from the Church when he was in his twenties....why did it take me so long to realize that it was just a freaking nap?
• An Aussie Mom Comments
  I am an Australian mum and ...I followed Prep. for Parenting to the T with my first - not a minute sooner or later and my child would not sleep through the night. I would shut the door on his room when it was sleep "time" and cry outside it. Every time I mentioned lack of sleep I was faced with comments that I musn't be doing it right until I demand fed at 4 months or so and he slept through soon after (at that I was told that the Ezzo routine must have instigated it!). Even today I was lectured on routine feeding being the smart choice. I asked where in the Bible did it say that?
• Because, After All I Do Have Two Children
  I suffered tremendous amounts of guilt and frustration when we were not able to maintain the schedule...The biggest regret I have about Babywise is the advice to feed on a 3-4 hour schedule. I had a terrible time with my milk production and I'll always wonder (assume, really) that if I had fed on demand, my milk supply would've been better. And I would've alleviated the major, major stress of feeling like I was not supplying enough nutrition for this most important little being that I was now responsible for. That was one of the first things I decided about nursing my son- I nursed on demand pretty much for the first several months. And I've never worried about having adequate milk for him.
• I Know Everything There is to Know About Being a Parent
  A father of a 9 month old recommends Babywise and relates that his baby was allowed to cry for 90 minutes two nights in a row and has slept through the night since then.
• How Gary Ezzo Made Me a Better Parent
  It is 3:00 AM, and 4-week old Peter cries. It isn't a cry, exactly, but a fussy sound of a child who is hungry but not quite wide enough awake to communicate it. I consider rolling over and waiting till he wails, but then I remember Ezzo, and I make myself cheerful about sliding off my bed and picking up my precious baby. My baby is talking to me, and I have the privilege of being one of the people who gets to teach him that big people listen and understand when he communicates. I have the privilege of being the one God chose to make milk and feed it to him. And he, being exactly the way God made him, communicates well.
• Cry It Out Bootcamp
  A mother of a toddler and a baby recommends Babywise: "BW says some crying is normal, but I don't think they really give an honest picture of what to expect. It is harder than they make it seem." Also from a different entry on the same blog: "Should you do CIO? My answer is yes. Most people who do BW intend to do CIO, but many wonder what age to start. BW says to start at 1 week. That is so young! Yes, it is. That is the age I started [my newborn]..."
• Melatonin
  ...the book added extra layers of fear and anxiety to what was already an extremely trying season.
• Things I Wish I Had Done Differently as a First Time Parent.
  I wish I ... could take those years back....I honestly believe that Babywise is the equivalent of raising a child at an arm’s length; cold, heartless, and wrong.
• Thinking About Gary Ezzo
  ...at the end of our experience with Ezzo parenting material, we had a rather adversarial relationship with our children.
• Sleep Training Blues
  This time around, I am trying to use more of a modified version of the Baby Wise system....Brayden isn't a crazy crier like Bryce was, but he still cries...a lot.
• I Had Forgotten About All the Crying
  "OH MY JEEEEEEEEEEEZ. Noah's cry sounds like a small lion....YES, I'm still trying to babywise the little sucker. I so want to give up on it everyday, but that anal, rule-following, teacher in me won't give in. So, as the ulcer gets bigger and as my headache pounds, I just sit here and try to pretend that no one else can hear the crying, that it's just me (and I can handle it - yeah, right). Whoever said the newborn stage was the best? NOT ME!"
• Ezzo-Blezzo-Schmezzo
  "It was eight years ago. We met this cute little suburban couple at a college alumni thingy. I was obviously pregnant - with our first child. They jumped all over us, telling us about this great "Bible study" at their home ... "
  
• Stench of Legalism
  "...However upon applying it, I have a feeling of near horror, like that when you stand at the open door of an airplane and realize you paid $100 to jump and now you have to do it even though it now feels close to torture."
• Zs without Ezzo
  Two nights ago our 10-week-old boy slept 7 hours straight. Last night he slept for 6 1/2 hours....I have some really sweet pictures of my wife snoozing in the nursing chair with the baby asleep in her arms.
• Breakthrough Day
  A mother following Babywise's method celebrates that her 7-8 week old baby has fallen asleep by herself after three weeks of continuous crying at least an hour at every nap.
• Thinking about a former nightmare
  In no uncertain terms, I want to make it painfully clear that following that program caused great problems for Harrison and for me.
• Conflicts of Time
  Newborns are in charge of the clock. That’s just how it is. Before you argue with me, rest assured, I read Babywise and tried it with Dear Daughter. It didn’t work.
• Let's Start at the Very Beginning
  ...how miserable I was those first months -- constantly questioning my every decision -- should I have not rocked her to sleep? Did I let her cry too long?...I cried almost every day. I was so disappointed. Disappointed in myself for not being strong enough to let her cry. Disappointed in Dacey for not acting the way the books all but promised she would. And I was scared. Was my “indulgence” of her going to turn her into the fussy, miserable, demanding baby that BW used as the example for “what not to do”???
• Blog Comment: Used it once, won't use it again
  I used Babywise with my son. He is 2 and a half and he is a wonderful child - bright smart, funny, loving, etc.
  
  Would I use it again? - NO
  Would I reccommend it to friends - NO
  
  I think it is dangerous. I agree with what [blogger] said, "What I found was that it really preys on your fears - fears that your child will be spoiled, they'll be one of "those kids" that makes restaurants unbearable, etc." It is written in a way that makes you think this is THE way. For example I remember at 6 months I was concerned about getting DS down to 4 feeds a day per ezzo (which I now know is wrong). At 8 months I was concerned because he hadn't dropped his third nap and Ezzo said he should have....
  
  The thing is that it became easier to listen to Ezzo rather than my child.
  
  ...Ezzo is very convincing. I actually visited Ezzo.info while I was doing Ezzo material with DS and yes it created a lot of doubts but it on its own wasn't enough - I stuck with the line "apply those bits that work" and didn't realise there were much more helpful books out there containing those good bits.